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Joke Bandages

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-690 is to be stored in a refrigerated locked container in Sector-7 Euclid SCP containment, with a temperature no greater than 10 degrees Celsius. Access to SCP-690 is restricted to personnel with level 2 access or higher. Experiments involving SCP-690 must be approved by an individual holding Level-4 clearance before testing commences.

Personnel with any cuts, scratches, or other injuries of the skin are to be restricted from access to SCP-690. If any unauthorized personnel use a bandage from SCP-690, security personnel are to be called immediately to subdue the offending personnel, and then remove and dispose of the bandage as biological waste.


SCP-690 appears to be a standard box of commercially-available adhesive bandages, now containing forty-seven (47) bandages. The logo on the box states that its contents are "Anti-Bandages (box of 64) - for the practical joker!", and that they are supplied by "your friends at the Factory".

When a bandage from SCP-690 is applied to a wound, it will prevent the wound from healing naturally, aggravating the wound and causing infection. Analysis of the bandages has revealed that this is not the result of anomalous properties: the bandages are composed of asbestos and fiberglass, and impregnated with microcapsules which dissolve upon exposure to body heat. These microcapsules contain a mixture of highly concentrated anticoagulants (heparin, hirudin, brodifacoum), and particularly virulent (but not anomalous) strains of Streptococcus, Yersinia, Staphylococcus, and Clostridium.

The anomalous property of SCP-690 is that they impose a moderate compulsion on nearby injured humans to take a bandage and apply it to their wound, regardless of the wound's severity. Furthermore, once the bandage is applied, the affected user will believe that the bandage is helping heal their wound, and will refuse to remove it. The compulsion is not strong enough to provoke violence; however, affected personnel have been quite persistent in their efforts to use or keep using SCP-690. See Test Log 690-A for further details.

Addendum: When first discovered, SCP-690 contained sixty-four (64) bandages. Following containment, seventeen (17) bandages have been removed and used for experimental purposes.