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The Cartesian Business Card

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-547 is to be stored inside a plain black envelope which in turn is to be stored in the security deposit box located in Dr ██████’s office. No Foundation employee is to access SCP-547 without Dr ██████’s consent, and SCP-547 itself should only be handled by test subjects. Please note that any persons exposed to SCP-547's effects are subject to class D status.


SCP-547 is an off-white standard size business card (85 mm x 55 mm) for ███████ ██████, a licensed hypnotherapist from ███████████, UK. The front of the card is unremarkable and inert. On the reverse, the phrase “Je pense donc…?” is written in black ball-point pen. The modified side of SCP-547 is a cognitohazard and should be treated with the relevant precautions.

In all cases, reading and understanding the phrase has ultimately resulted in a complete loss of personality, and a greatly reduced awareness of self. Test subjects have been able to perform most basic tasks, and nearly all are still capable of speech. Subjects are, however, incapable of any subjective thought and emotion beyond the rational and immediate. The effects of SCP-547 are degenerative, with full manifestation occurring approximately ten weeks after exposure. Several stages have been observed:

Exposure- 1 week: No substantial change in personality. Subjects may occasionally forget personal details or answer to a name other than their own.

1-6 weeks: Subjects begin to show confusion as to their own identity and key facts regarding their lives. See interview SCP-547-A for further details.

6-9 weeks: Subjects begin to regress towards final stage of infection. Mannerisms and turns of phrase associated with subject begin to disappear and speech begins to lack inflection and emotion.

10 weeks and beyond: Psychological and cognitive effects previously described are fully manifest. See interview SCP-547-B for further details.

From: Dr ██████ ██████
To: O5-█
Subject: SCP-547
In response to your previous email, subjects are unable to recall any previous experiences in an emotional context, and are completely incapable of subjective thought. I would like to suggest that due to their predictable behaviour, subjects exposed to SCP-547 would make perfect control groups for any other psychohazards or cognitohazards we may encounter.

From: O5-█
To: Dr ██████ ██████
Subject: Re- SCP-547
I would like subjects D-547- Alpha through Gamma prepped for transport by 0700 tomorrow. You can expect more requests of this nature in the future.