The Luckiest Man in the World
Special Containment Procedures
SCP-503 is to be kept within a secure holding cell at all times. No fewer than four (4) security cameras must be positioned within the cell. SCP-503 must be under constant observation. Any strange movements or attempts to obscure the view of the cameras must be treated as a full-scale emergency. Any researchers studying SCP-503 must be searched for dangerous objects before entering its cell. The cell must be searched daily for any potentially dangerous objects.
Note on procedures: The searches are not optional. I don’t care if you think they’re a waste of time. I refer anyone who thinks otherwise to Incident Report 503-B. — Dr. ████
SCP-503 is a Caucasian male, sixty-three (63) years of age. The subject is bald (formerly black hair) with brown eyes. The subject’s lower jaw is a prosthesis, as a result of incident 503-A. There is a large scar on the subject’s chest as a result of Test Log 503-5.
SCP-503 demonstrates a remarkable proclivity toward short-term good fortune and long-term misfortune. This was first apparent at age 11, when the subject was involved in an automobile accident with its family. While the subject survived, its parents, as well as two (2) siblings died. In addition, the subject was trapped within the car for ██ days before rescue.
The subject has had three (3) marriages; the first ending in divorce; the second ending when the subject’s wife was killed in an automobile accident; the third ending when the subject’s wife committed suicide. During this time the subject has had ten (10) children, none of whom currently live. As far as the subject is aware, it has no living family.
The subject has survived falling from a 34th story window, a plane crash in the North Atlantic, two additional automobile accidents, and the destruction of the World Trade Center on 9/11/01. It has survived suicide attempts via hanging, overdose, self-immolation, and firearm (see Incident 503-A). Although the subject has won the lottery on two (2) separate occasions, by the time the Foundation took custody of it, medical bills had left it in heavy debt.
SCP-503 is currently being studied by Dr. ████████ to determine if the subject’s properties can be reverse-engineered to increase the survival chances of field agents.
Incident Report 503-A: Six (6) days before SCP-503 came into Foundation custody, it attempted suicide via shotgun. As it held the shotgun along its torso, firing up through the jaw, the jaw somehow absorbed most of the blast, destroying the jaw and causing massive cranial trauma. A neighbor who heard the blast found the subject and took it to the hospital, where it was discovered and retrieved by Foundation agents who had been monitoring the hospital for a possible outbreak of SCP-███.
Incident Report 503-B: During the experiment recorded in Test Log 503-█, research assistant B████ was not searched by security prior to entering the subject’s cell. During the experiment, B████ left behind a ball-point pen, with which SCP-503 attempted to kill itself 31 minutes after the end of the experiment. Although it survived, it was left in critical condition for six (6) days. Research assistant B████ has been disciplined and reassigned.
Test Log 503-1
Test: Card-based guessing game
Result: 100% success rate
Test Log 503-2
Test: Game of roulette
Result: 100% success rate
Test Log 503-3
Test: Game of Poker
Result: Won every hand until last, at which point subject "went all in" (wagered all winnings) and lost game.
Note: Okay, we've established he's good at games. That's not why we're interested in him. We need to go bigger. — Dr. ████████
Test Log 503-4
Test: Firearm aimed at head, point-blank range.
Result: Sixty (60) consecutive misfires with 17 different weapons. Later laboratory testing determined that the weapons failed due to, variously, jams caused by debris, malfunctioning parts, or total mechanical failure. Of particular note is the final weapon used, a revolver [a type of weapon renowned for its reliability], which jammed due to a slight mechanical defect that could only be replicated after 254 test shots in the laboratory, and since then has yet to be replicated a second time, despite ███ additional test firings. During Test 503-4, the revolver failed to fire eight (8) consecutive times.
Test Log 503-5
Test: “Russian Roulette” with 1 empty chamber, aimed at subject’s chest
Result: Severe trauma to chest, bullet passes through center of heart, piercing no chambers. Rib broken. Subject survives.
Note: Dr. ████████ has been disciplined and reassigned. Dr. ███ will carry out further testing. — O5-█.
See Test Report 503-███-█ for additional tests.