AUDIO LOG
DATE: 10/28/2017
SUBJECT: Sean Mulligan
INTERVIEWER: Dr. McLaughlin
NOTE: Subject had been in Foundation custody for three days prior to interview.
[BEGIN LOG]
Door opening. Dull scraping sound as Dr. McLaughlin seats himself.
MCLAUGHLIN: Mr. Mulligan. I trust you've been kept in good comfort?
SUBJECT: Wasn't expecting the Ritz, but it did an alright job. Good food. Not like what you see in the movies.
MCLAUGHLIN: Well, this isn't a prison, per se- consider it a- ah, a necessary measure towards your own safety. Safety being something you appear to pay little attention to.
Silence. McLaughlin clears his throat.
MCLAUGHLIN: The salamanders, Mr. Mulligan. We'd very much appreciate an explanation. Why do the things you did, rather than- for example- contact the authorities?
SUBJECT: Money. Fame, perhaps. What, you want a sob story or something? I did it because God gave me the fuckin' opportunity to do so.
Thumping. Subject apparently hit the table with his fist for emphasis.
SUBJECT: I could have gone all the way to Broadway with an act like that.
MCLAUGHLIN: I don't doubt it. They are remarkable creatures- you claim to have, ah- (shuffling) 'seen them moving towards the bank, and shot'- in self-defense?
SUBJECT: Sounds about right. What of it?
Shuffling.
MCLAUGHLIN: This is what frightened you? (A pause.) Not to be a cynic, Sean- but this was apparently in broad daylight. And our research has determined your creatures to be no quicker than a standard member of their species.
Silence.
MCLAUGHLIN: Would you like to tell me what really happened?
SUBJECT: (Laughing.) Yeah, yeah- you got me. I shot it, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear? Aimed square at its dopey little melon and pulled the trigger, and it just healed right over.
Creaking.
SUBJECT: Well, I'd planned on stringing it up on my porch and flogging it off to the highest bidder before- but now, now I had a bloody goldmine on my hands. Ever heard of a flea circus, lad? Little automated thing, round and round it goes, make you believe there were these tiny little bugs living in their own little world. Loved them to bits when I was a boy.
MCLAUGHLIN: So?
SUBJECT: So, I made my own. With a bit of a twist. See, people love performing animals- but you know what else they love, doctor? They love gore. They love crunchin' bones and spewing blood. They love beheadings. They can't help but look away from their goggleboxes when some poor, dumb fuck gets stabbed in broad daylight, or when an old lady gets splattered by a train. So, I fit my product to that demand. I guide my little beauties-
MCLAUGHLIN: (Interrupting.) You blame- what- an audience, on your actions?
SUBJECT: Oi, didn't say that. Nothin' to blame anything on. I did what any bloke worth his salt would do if he stumbled upon a bunch of disposable stuntmen.
MCLAUGHLIN: Then what about the ones who don't perform at all? 'Purple' and 'Cream'?
SUBJECT: (Laughing.) All for the show, doctor. All for the show.
Silence for a few seconds. Papers shuffling.
MCLAUGHLIN: Right. I think we're done here.
SUBJECT: I can go home now?
MCLAUGHLIN: That's not my decision to make. I'll contact my superiors as soon as possible. For now, you'll stay under our custody.
[END LOG]
NOTE" id="">Addendum 3950.1: Recovery
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF INTELLIGENCE
Individual: SCP-3950-1 through SCP-3950-13 were recovered from the home of PoI-5591, formally known as Sean Mulligan. Mulligan was apprehended at a family gathering (the remaining participants of which have been administered Class-C amnestics) and brought in for interview. He had been charged with two counts of animal cruelty four years prior.
Interviews suggest that Mulligan was game hunting by the River ██████, armed with a rifle, and spotted three or four instances of SCP-3950 as he was traversing the bank. Unable to identify the creature, he panicked and fired one round into the head of SCP-3950-3 (as evidenced by the scar tissue located by its left eye). The wound rapidly healed. Mulligan proceeded to capture all thirteen instances and house them within his garden shed.
Purpose: Mulligan intended to utilize the size and regenerative properties of SCP-3950 for a travelling stunt/circus attraction, dubbed 'FULL THROTTLE AXOLOTL'. Within his residence were several custom-built miniature motorbikes bearing the ██████-████████ logo, elaborate props (including hoops, ramps, and steel knives of various lengths), additional latex suits for each 'performer', and approximately 100 printed leaflets detailing the event.
The following text is taken directly from the leaflets in question. SCP-3950-1 through SCP-3950-13 have been designated in order of appearance.
FULL THROTTLE AXOLOTL.
RIDE OR DIE WITH YOUR FAVOURITE ACROBATIC AMPHIBIANS FOR JUST £19.99 A HEAD.
MEET THE WORLD-FAMOUS GANG:
- RIP ROARIN' RED: Eat his dust as he soars by on the hotrod your mother warned you about!
- BULLET BLUE: Light the fuse and feel no woe! Out the cannon Blue will go!
- YOWLIN' YELLOW: Out of the frying pan and into the fire- watch Yellow juggle and swallow white-hot flame without breaking a sweat!
- GURGLIN' GREEN: Wrapped in chains! Trapped in a watertight box! How will Green make his great escape?
- PRINCESS PURPLE: Married men best look the other way as Purple dazzles the room with her breathtaking acrobatics and winning smile!
- OILY ORANGE: Doused in deadly flame! A forty foot drop! A paddling pool only five inches deep! Will they make the splash or will they end up ash?
- PUTZY PINK: Fearless volunteer to knife-throwing and deadly magic tricks alike!
- WIZARD WHITE: Abracadbra! Alakazam! His magic tricks will wow you silly!
- BULLY BLACK: The rough n' tough king of the ring! Dare you challenge his fiery fists?
- CUTESY CREAM: Take a break from the action- let Cream soothe your senses with a voice smooth as hot butter! Can you make it through without a smile on your face?
- BOMBER BROWN: A hearty kaboom to shake the room! Watch the master of explosives blast himself to smithereens for your viewing pleasure!
- GALLANT GOLD: A knight in shining armour! Gold will tame the deadliest of beasts to save his damsel in distress- none other than the gorgeous Princess Purple!
- SILENT SILVER: He's a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in the unexpected! Who's next on this slick, silver-tongued salamander's list?
Of note, SCP-3950-5 and SCP-3950-10 showed significantly fewer signs of injury in comparison to other SCP-3950 instances, the latter featuring only one small scar along their chin. Mulligan is currently contained within one of Site-114's humanoid residential chambers until further notice, with an interview being arranged at the earliest possible convenience.
Addendum 3950.2: Interview
AUDIO LOG
DATE: 10/28/2017
SUBJECT: Sean Mulligan
INTERVIEWER: Dr. McLaughlin
NOTE: Subject had been in Foundation custody for three days prior to interview.
[BEGIN LOG]
Door opening. Dull scraping sound as Dr. McLaughlin seats himself.
MCLAUGHLIN: Mr. Mulligan. I trust you've been kept in good comfort?
SUBJECT: Wasn't expecting the Ritz, but it did an alright job. Good food. Not like what you see in the movies.
MCLAUGHLIN: Well, this isn't a prison, per se- consider it a- ah, a necessary measure towards your own safety. Safety being something you appear to pay little attention to.
Silence. McLaughlin clears his throat.
MCLAUGHLIN: The salamanders, Mr. Mulligan. We'd very much appreciate an explanation. Why do the things you did, rather than- for example- contact the authorities?
SUBJECT: Money. Fame, perhaps. What, you want a sob story or something? I did it because God gave me the fuckin' opportunity to do so.
Thumping. Subject apparently hit the table with his fist for emphasis.
SUBJECT: I could have gone all the way to Broadway with an act like that.
MCLAUGHLIN: I don't doubt it. They are remarkable creatures- you claim to have, ah- (shuffling) 'seen them moving towards the bank, and shot'- in self-defense?
SUBJECT: Sounds about right. What of it?
Shuffling.
MCLAUGHLIN: This is what frightened you? (A pause.) Not to be a cynic, Sean- but this was apparently in broad daylight. And our research has determined your creatures to be no quicker than a standard member of their species.
Silence.
MCLAUGHLIN: Would you like to tell me what really happened?
SUBJECT: (Laughing.) Yeah, yeah- you got me. I shot it, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear? Aimed square at its dopey little melon and pulled the trigger, and it just healed right over.
Creaking.
SUBJECT: Well, I'd planned on stringing it up on my porch and flogging it off to the highest bidder before- but now, now I had a bloody goldmine on my hands. Ever heard of a flea circus, lad? Little automated thing, round and round it goes, make you believe there were these tiny little bugs living in their own little world. Loved them to bits when I was a boy.
MCLAUGHLIN: So?
SUBJECT: So, I made my own. With a bit of a twist. See, people love performing animals- but you know what else they love, doctor? They love gore. They love crunchin' bones and spewing blood. They love beheadings. They can't help but look away from their goggleboxes when some poor, dumb fuck gets stabbed in broad daylight, or when an old lady gets splattered by a train. So, I fit my product to that demand. I guide my little beauties-
MCLAUGHLIN: (Interrupting.) You blame- what- an audience, on your actions?
SUBJECT: Oi, didn't say that. Nothin' to blame anything on. I did what any bloke worth his salt would do if he stumbled upon a bunch of disposable stuntmen.
MCLAUGHLIN: Then what about the ones who don't perform at all? 'Purple' and 'Cream'?
SUBJECT: (Laughing.) All for the show, doctor. All for the show.
Silence for a few seconds. Papers shuffling.
MCLAUGHLIN: Right. I think we're done here.
SUBJECT: I can go home now?
MCLAUGHLIN: That's not my decision to make. I'll contact my superiors as soon as possible. For now, you'll stay under our custody.
[END LOG]
NOTE PoI-5591 promptly returned to his designated chamber. Further interviews are currently pending approval. Concerns regarding staff composure and professionalism have led to Dr. McLaughlin being permanently removed from the subject's interview rota.
