SCP-3807
A Real Bad Hombre
Object Class: Esoteric
Special Containment Procedures
Due to the effect SCP-3807 and SCP-3807-1 instances have on observers, witnesses outside of trial situations do not need to be amnesticized. Those present during SCP-3807's courtroom appearance should be detained and amnesticized. However, SCP-3807's clients will retain full memory of SCP-3807 even if given amnestics. As any attempts by clients to talk about their experiences to non-Foundation-aligned individuals will result in scorpions manifesting in the client's throat, Foundation agents must surveil these individuals in case amnesticization of a witness is needed.
Any photographs or videos must be removed via webcrawler; a similar procedure should be used to find and remove news coverage of SCP-3807's appearances in court. A Foundation-employed psychiatrist should be on call for all clients who wish to receive treatment, as witnessing SCP-3807's methods can be detrimental to mental health. A grassroots media campaign is currently ongoing to reduce tourism to [REDACTED].
Description
SCP-3807 is a humanoid entity with the head of an unknown canine1, the body of an Egyptian man, and a prehensile tail ending in two keratinous spikes. SCP-3807 breeds canine animals that share its curved snout and forked tail. These animals are referred to as SCP-3807-1. Despite its obvious visual abnormalities, the oddity of SCP-3807's appearance is not remarked upon by observers - instead, their focus is limited to determining the exact species of animal SCP-3807's head resembles. This perception effect lasts precisely 30 minutes after seeing SCP-3807, after which the subject will remember nothing abnormal about SCP-3807 whatsoever when questioned. SCP-3807-1 instances share this effect on perception. SCP-3807 is fluent in English, Spanish, French, German, Arabic, Beja, and Nobiin.2
SCP-3807 currently resides in [REDACTED], Egypt, a popular tourist town. All attempts at removing SCP-3807 and placing it into containment have failed. During missions to capture SCP-3807, weapon mechanisms will malfunction, arguments will arise over proper protocol, and participating individuals will experience a marked decrease in their ability to follow instructions correctly. In addition, all gasoline in vehicles used to pursue or find SCP-3807 will be replaced with an equivalent volume of locust bodies. SCP-3807 has, however, been amenable to contact with the Foundation, appears willing to facilitate efforts to maintain normalcy, and has put in place the listed perception effects upon Foundation request for cooperation with amnesticization efforts. SCP-3807 has also recently lifted the gag effect on clients who are speaking about their experiences with it so long as they are speaking to Foundation employees.
Whenever a non-Egyptian citizen enters the boundaries of [REDACTED], an instance of SCP-3807-1 will approach them bearing a business card, and proceed to follow them wherever they go. The card welcomes them to [REDACTED] and offers the legal services of "Seth Hasani, Defense Attorney, Partially Retired" without fee. Instances of SCP-3807-1 cannot be removed from the immediate vicinity of their charge. After the affected person receives the card, the instance of SCP-3807-1 will become hostile to any individual who threatens their charge in any way, going so far as to injure or kill harassers who do not desist.
If, at any point in time after receiving the business card, a recipient finds themselves under arrest or at risk of deportation, SCP-3807 will manifest and serve as their lawyer. In the courtroom, SCP-3807 resolves cases by a variety of anomalous means.
Court Appearances Log:
Date: 10/13/16
Defendant: Violet Reginald
Method: All evidence collected by the prosecution immediately turned to molten rock upon being presented to the court.
Date: 12/3/16
Defendant: Christina Parks
Method: All attempts to travel to the courtroom where the hearing was scheduled to take place instead led the traveler to an uninhabited location in the desert.
Date: 2/24/17
Defendant: Daniel Reyes
Method: Every legal reference consulted during the trial stated it was illegal to arrest someone who was uncircumcised, despite all participants having no such memory of the law.
Date: 3/15/17
Defendant: Matthew Wolf
Method: All security tapes depicting the defendant were altered to replace the defendant with an okapi.
Date: 4/7/17
Defendant: Andrew Castellano
Method: Each time the prosecuting attorney asked the defendant a question, a large pustule appeared on their face, neck, lower arms, or inner thighs.
Excerpt of Courtroom Log:
Foreword: SCP-3807 made his closing statement, with his defendant, Jason Flores, pleading "Not Guilty" to charges of grand theft auto.
<BEGIN LOG>
SCP-3807: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury! What you were promised here today was a trial! A fair and just procedure, where my poor, unfortunate defendant would find himself facing you, a jury of his peers in humanity and in mortality.
[SCP-3807 checks his watch.]
SCP-3807: (Under breath) Damn it, they're late. (To the jury) And yet! I sense, deep within me, a disturbance. An imbalance.
Flores: (Whispered to SCP-3807) What are you doing?
SCP-3807: (to Flores, hushed) Stalling. I didn't anticipate it'd take this long, I summoned the herd an hour early just to be safe! (to jury) Yes, indeed! This courtroom claims to be a place of justice! And yet, within its heart, there is violence, and corruption, and fear. A fear of those whose backs you stand upon, whose fruits of labor you stuff yourselves with! The herds of unnamed faces who -
[The door slams open, and donkeys begin stampeding into the courtroom. General panic and hysteria ensues, with attempts to divert their entrance resulting in the donkeys becoming aggressive. The foreman hits one on the nose with his briefcase, and is promptly trampled by other members of the herd.]
SCP-3807: Took you long enough. Jackasses. You couldn't have let me be impressive for just one moment, hmm? (to Flores) Come on, kid, we're going home.
<END LOG>
Afterword: The trial was eventually thrown out, and no charges brought against the defendant, after the courtroom was cleared of donkeys and the evidence was found to have been consumed.