SCP-3656

Event Transcript 3656-299-2 (04/11/13)
Foundation Participants: Dr Dabashi (Representative A-1), Agent Nafisi, Agent Hashemi

C-1: [The assembled representatives have proposed and agreed to consider a new unified currency. In the interests of international solidarity, we will continue along this path. I propose a fifteen-minute recess.] General agreement.

The door opposite the entrance of SCP-3656 opens, and several men and women dressed in formal attire enter with water, tea, coffee and platters of sandwiches. SCP-3656 entities begin to move about the room and make casual conversation. C-1, C-2 and C-3 leave the room.

B-2 places a plate of sandwiches in front of B-1. No response is observed from B-1.

B-2: (to D-1) These are very good. (D-1 appears surprised) My apologies, Excellency. I meant no offence.

D-1: None taken.

G-1: (to Dr Dabashi) Would you like a ham sandwich, Ambassador? It’s all right for you to eat these?

Dr Dabashi: Oh, thank you. Yes, I’m not a practicing Muslim. Dr Dabashi takes a sandwich. G-1 appears confused.

E-1: Pardon me for asking, Ambassador, but I didn’t realise you had undergone a realignment. Was it very difficult for you?

Dr Dabashi: Sorry?

E-1: You haven’t? But why – ah. Best not to eat those, Ambassador. Have the egg salad instead.

Dr Dabashi and E-1 share halves of an egg salad sandwich. Dr Dabashi later reports no abnormalities.

Dr Dabashi: Very nice.

Dr Dabashi and E-1 proceed to have a 10-minute conversation about Japanese and Iranian national cuisines. The content of this conversation is unremarkable, save E-1 lacking comprehension when Dr Dabashi attempts to discuss dishes containing salmon, tuna and other seafoods.

E-1: Next year in Isfahan, yes? (laughs and claps Dr Dabashi on the shoulder)

Agent Hashemi successfully retrieved a sample of the ham sandwich. No abnormalities were found on testing, but when a portion was fed to a laboratory mouse, signs of distress and poor appetite developed over 2 hours. An autopsy revealed widespread intestinal ulceration. The remainder of the sandwich was classified as a hazardous anomalous object and is currently in cold storage at Site-70.

Audio Log 3656-330-1 (04/07/16)

C-1: [… significant disruption to our activities.]

F-1: (buzzing for 12 seconds)

D-1 (?): As you know, the accession of the Marshal to office has altered the political situation significantly. The administration can no longer countenance the (unintelligible) of the Organisation if there is no mutual support amongst its members.

G-1⁸: [I must remind you that my government has serious reservations about this course of action. It is not consistent with this organisation's stated goals of peaceful cooperation and promoting international justice.]

D-1 (?): International justice is of no use if its enforcement requires allowing an occupying power to trample the oppressed.

E-1: [Minister, we understand your reservations, but we have already recognised your unique situation and agreed your diplomatic support only will be sufficient.]

Dr Dabashi: When was this agreed?

E-1: [The specifics of this agreement were arranged in the emergency session of the Organisation.]

Dr Dabashi: We were not party to this session, and request a summary of the events.

(background noise and unintelligible whispering for 4 minutes)

E-1: [The Persian non-attendance at the emergency session was already noted. Do the other representatives have an opinion on how to proceed?]

H-1 (?): [DATA EXPUNGED]

B-1 (?): [Agreed. This was most disappointing and unexpected. We have been forced to assume that the lack of communication from the Sublime State was a statement of displeasure.]

Dr Dabashi: I assure you, excellency, no offence was intended.

C-1: [This only raises further questions. While we do not wish to comment on your internal affairs, such a lapse reflects poorly on the functioning of your office.]

E-1: [I do not think we should question the good character of our friend the Ambassador. However, this is perhaps a good time to revisit our concerns from the emergency session. His Imperial Majesty himself has taken an interest in the information security procedures of the Organisation, and I gather the Pacifican Republic and [DATA EXPUNGED] share similar concerns, yes?]

G-1: [Are you suggesting that the assembled representatives are not acting in good faith? I must protest… ]

E-1: [Please, Minister, I am not making any accusations. I simply wish to be able to report to His Imperial Majesty that we are confident in the integrity of all present. I am sure there will be no problems, yes?]

(sound of doors opening, movement of 10-20 persons into room)

Dr Dabashi: What is this?

C-1: [General, this is a diplomatic meeting!]

F-1: (buzzing for 8 seconds)

G-1: [You agreed to this?]

D-1 (?): [As have I, and the Russian and [DATA EXPUNGED] representatives.]

C-1: [The Board will not stand for this offence against… ]

E-1: [It is merely a formality, Mr Contarini. In any case, the Board has already given their approval for these measures.]

Dr Dabashi: I must lodge an official protest. We cannot be expected to conduct meetings under such conditions.

E-1: Ambassador, I'm sure we can straighten this all out. I think you deserve an explanation for this unfortunate problem in private. [Major Fujita, would you?]

E-?: [Yes, General.]

E-1: As I said, a mere formality.

[RECORDING ENDS]

Addendum 3656-4: On 09/06/2017, the following document was received by the Provisional National Government of Vietnam, a California-based Vietnamese organisation in opposition to the current Communist government. Foundation agents secured the document and existing copies, explaining its presence as a prank.

Similar documents have been reported by Foundation sources within the Central Tibetan Administration and the Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic. Any further examples of these should be intercepted and seized, with amnestic administration as necessary.

The whereabouts of SCP-3656-1 are unknown. Site-71 has been established to research methods of contact and containment as a high priority.

Document 3656-1" id="addendum-3656-1-strong-abridged-example-of-an-scp-3656-event-p-div-classcollapsible-block-div-classcollapsible-block-foldeda-classcollapsible-block-link-hrefjavascript-nbspeventnbsptranscriptnbsp3656-299-1-a-div-div-classcollapsible-block-unfolded-styledisplaynone-div-classcollapsible-block-unfolded-linka-classcollapsible-block-link-hrefjavascript-nbspclosenbsptranscript-a-div-div-classcollapsible-block-content-blockquote-pstrongevent-transcript-3656-299-1-04-11-13-strongbr-strongfoundation-participants-strong-dr-dabashi-representative-a-1-agent-nafisi-agent-hashemi-p-ptext-in-square-brackets-was-translated-into-english-during-event-by-scp-3656-translators-entities-with-designation-1-refer-to-representatives-with-higher-numbers-their-associates-p-pementry-of-foundation-team-into-scp-3656-em-p-pstrongc-1-strong-welcome-to-the-honourable-persian-delegates-emother-entities-voice-similar-sentiments-em-p-pstrongdr-dabashi-strong-greetings-to-the-honourable-representatives-p-pstrongc-1-strong-now-that-all-are-present-i-suggest-we-begin-this-meeting-of-the-organisation-is-now-in-session-i-carlo-contarini-representative-of-the-venetian-people-have-the-rotating-chair-passed-to-me-by-his-russian-excellency-do-any-of-the-assembled-wish-to-raise-any-issues-from-the-last-meeting-p-pemno-responses-em-p-pstrongc-1-strong-we-shall-continue-the-primary-item-on-the-agenda-today-is-the-proposal-for-currency-standardisation-as-part-of-our-20-year-plan-for-development-of-a-single-market-as-you-know-all-members-have-agreed-to-this-in-principle-but-a-number-of-concerns-have-been-raised-in-particular-the-representative-from-pacifica-has-strongly-expressed-his-governments-feelings-about-the-proposed-use-of-the-new-standard-dollar-ambassador-wilson-you-have-the-floor-p-pstrongd-1-strong-the-republic-will-veto-any-proposed-unintelligible-if-the-currency-of-the-occupiers-is-used-we-are-aware-new-america-remains-dominant-in-most-of-your-existences-but-there-is-a-higher-principle-at-stake-here-all-members-are-bound-by-a-common-purpose-of-justice-and-unintelligible-which-cannot-be-sacrificed-for-economic-expediency-p-pstrongb-1-strong-the-exercise-of-the-unilateral-veto-would-be-most-irregular-and-disappointing-given-that-the-single-currency-proposal-had-been-previously-agreed-to-in-resolution-40-p-pstrongd-1-strong-resolution-40-was-a-statement-of-intent-which-did-not-give-the-proposals-specifics-p-pstrongf-1-strong-embuzzing-for-25-seconds-em-p-pstronge-1-strong-i-agree-with-the-unity-representative-my-association-considers-the-use-of-the-standard-dollar-preferable-but-negotiable-while-the-pacifican-position-poses-some-problems-they-should-be-able-to-be-accommodated-p-pstrongc-1-strong-the-introduction-of-an-entirely-new-currency-even-if-pegged-to-the-new-standard-dollar-would-cause-significant-disruption-to-our-operations-we-would-not-be-able-to-agree-to-this-without-concessions-p-pstrongdr-dabashi-strong-that-seems-reasonable-p-pstrongd-1-strong-is-it-necessary-for-the-venetian-people-to-consult-the-board-before-making-decisions-emmuttering-and-disquiet-em-p-pstrongb-1-strong-ambassador-please-p-pstrongh-1-strong-data-expunged-p-pstrongg-1-strong-i-propose-we-move-forward-from-the-point-of-view-of-developing-a-new-unified-currency-this-has-always-been-considered-by-the-organisation-as-a-possibility-throughout-this-process-and-much-of-the-theoretical-work-has-already-been-done-parties-are-still-able-to-provide-their-conditions-p-pstronge-1-strong-havent-had-enough-of-new-currencies-emlaughter-em-we-agree-with-the-proposal-p-pstrongh-1-strong-data-expunged-p-pstrongb-1-strong-agreed-p-pstrongf-1-strong-embuzzing-for-2-seconds-em-p-pstrongd-1-strong-its-good-to-see-we-can-come-to-an-agreement-p-pstrongdr-dabashi-strong-whispering-to-other-team-members-what-do-you-think-p-pstrongagent-hashemi-strong-whispering-why-are-you-asking-us-youre-the-expert-here-p-pstrongdr-dabashi-strong-whispering-i-worked-on-free-trade-agreements-not-currency-unions-to-room-we-request-uh-to-seek-the-approval-of-the-shahanshah-prior-to-making-a-final-decision-p-pstrongb-1-strong-as-we-are-still-in-the-development-phase-of-the-process-we-request-a-statement-of-intent-at-todays-meeting-p-pstrongdr-dabashi-strong-very-well-we-uh-agree-with-the-minister-at-this-point-in-time-p-blockquote-div-div-div-div-classcollapsible-block-div-classcollapsible-block-foldeda-classcollapsible-block-link-hrefjavascript-nbspeventnbsptranscriptnbsp3656-299-2-a-div-div-classcollapsible-block-unfolded-styledisplaynone-div-classcollapsible-block-unfolded-linka-classcollapsible-block-link-hrefjavascript-nbspclosenbsptranscript-a-div-div-classcollapsible-block-content-blockquote-pstrongevent-transcript-3656-299-2-04-11-13-strongbr-strongfoundation-participants-strong-dr-dabashi-representative-a-1-agent-nafisi-agent-hashemi-p-pstrongc-1-strong-the-assembled-representatives-have-proposed-and-agreed-to-consider-a-new-unified-currency-in-the-interests-of-international-solidarity-we-will-c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3656-1: Abridged example of an SCP-3656 event