SCP-3464
Even Garlic Bread Can Be Creepy
Object Class: Esoteric
Special Containment Procedures
449 instances of SCP-3464 are contained in the Low-priority Safe Containment Wing of Site-82. All instances have ceased to display any anomalous properties, thereby rendering SCP-3464 Neutralized.
As no new instances of SCP-3464 have been produced, further containment is dedicated to the suppression of information regarding SCP-3464's true nature.
Description
SCP-3464 was a large quantity of garlic bread disseminated throughout the United States and Canada between the months of April and September 2018.
Each instance of SCP-3464 was baked using ingredients typical of garlic bread, which includes mozzarella cheese, garlic shavings, parsley, and yeast. SCP-3464 instances vary in mass from a 0.2 kg slice to a 2 kg loaf. 449 total instances of SCP-3464 have been located.
SCP-3464's anomalous properties manifest upon serving, prior to consumption. SCP-3464 expands to 10 times its initial size; a proportionate mass of garlic bread is newly generated1. After its growth, SCP-3464 vocalizes about the impact of food waste using the voice of acclaimed voice actor Don LaFontaine. Vocalizations occur for up to 5 minutes. The following is an excerpt from one such vocalization:
In a world, where we could have our cake and eat it too, we savoured every last bite. Now, when the stakes have risen, our final feast may be eaten alone. Every day, we face hunger. Paranoia. Shortage. And the most horrifying struggle of all. Sharing. With our final meal fast approaching, we look to you as the last line of defense. Take the bite, or suffer the consequences.
SCP-3464 is safe for consumption before, during, and after the anomalous effects manifest. Approximately 15% of persons consuming SCP-3464 reported feeling pressured against wasting food for 1 month after consumption.
Incident 3464-450-Kerala: On September 27th, 2018, the 450th instance of SCP-3464 (SCP-3464-450) was discovered in an Olive Garden restaurant in Toronto, Ontario. The following is a log compiled from the restaurant's surveillance system, as well as witness testimony from patrons and Olive Garden staff.
VIDEO LOG
<Begin Log, 01:26 PM>
<0:00:00> Two individuals in long grey overcoats (Kerala/K-1 and K-2) appear. The pair surveys their surroundings before quickly entering the restaurant. 30 other patrons are present in various stages of dining.
<0:02:20> An attendant leads the pair towards a table in the centre of the restaurant and asks if they require the menu, which they decline.
<0:02:51> K-1 orders a pajata2 seasoned with basil and shredded bay leaves. K-2 orders flame-broiled capretto3 cooked in benzoin oil and seasoned with black pepper and asafoetida spice, as well as a side order of "sempiternal Empyrean garlic bread".
<0:13:14> The attendant returns with the requested orders4.
<0:14:02> K-1 prepares a thaumaturgical circle. K-2 places SCP-3464-450 in the middle. The two dishes are ritualistically offered and summarily consumed by the garlic bread. The garlic bread begins to grow as the table collapses beneath it.
<0:17:51> At this point, SCP-3464-450 has expanded to fill the room, obstructing all entrances and windows. Foundation Field Thaumatology Specialist-७ ("The Custodian") bypasses the entrance to the restaurant5, ordering all patrons to evacuate. K-1 commands patrons to consume the garlic bread, to which some comply.
<0:18:24> As patrons consume substantial amounts of SCP-3464-450 it radiates a blue glow, suggesting the transfer of Elan-Vital Energies (EVEs). The Elan-Vital essences6 of patrons that have consumed the garlic bread (which includes 11 adults, 4 children, and 1 infant) are absorbed into SCP-3464-450 while their bodies collapse. FTS-७ vocalizes containment incantations, allowing unaffected patrons and Olive Garden staff to safely evacuate7.
<0:20:10> K-2 begins a summoning ritual using a vial of an unidentified crimson liquid. FTS-७ attempts to stop K-2 but is assailed by the bodies of collapsed patrons, which have become necromantically influenced by K-1.
<0:23:49> K-2 summons a Type-III (incorporeal) Tartarean entity. FTS-७ returns 7 essences to their owners.
<0:24:09> The entity manifests within SCP-3464-450. K-1 and K-2 consume the garlic bread8.
<0:25:15> FTS-७ is successful in returning 15 of the 16 essences. As K-1 and K-2 continue consumption, their bodies convulse; their bodies assimilate energies from Sheol9 and the 16th patron's essence.
<0:26:19> FTS-७ deploys a portable electro-thaumic exorcism device and attempts to banish the entity. Due to the loss of the last remaining Elan-Vital essence, the entity cannot be banished.
<0:26:51> SCP-3464-450 expands into the street, destroying the building in the process. External CCTV surveillance continues, displaying SCP-3464-450's manifestation of multiple arthropod appendages and leakage of a corrosive liquid similar to olive oil, which indicates the entity's heightening control.
<0:27:36> FTS-७ attempts essence expulsion, fully sacrificing their EVEs to aid in the exorcism.
<0:32:17> The entity is banished, absorbing the Elan-Vital essences of K-1 and K-2 as it de-manifests. SCP-3464-450 erupts, dispersing garlic bread across the nearby Yonge-Dundas Square.
<End Log, 01:58 PM>
Over the next month, garlic bread within Italian-themed restaurants in Downtown Toronto vocalized with the voice of Don LaFontaine, warning about the dangers of garlic bread. A dedicated Foundation media coverup team implanted in Olive Garden has been charged with maintaining the guise of SCP-3464 being an elaborate social experiment conducted to raise food waste awareness.
The Elan-Vital essences of FTS-७, K-1, and K-2 cannot be located. Their bodies have been contained in the Humanoid Containment Wing of Site-82.
On October 13th, 2018, the creation and dissemination of SCP-3464 was confirmed to be the work of independent Dutch anartist Ignaas Markus (PoI-4312). PoI-4312, a known demonologist specialising in demonic edibles, is a rising figure in the North American anomalous art scene. His extensive use of infernal entities has made him a target of paranormal manipulation and sabotage. The hijacking of SCP-3464-450 by an unknown rogue faction is the latest in a string of attacks against PoI-4312's work.