SCP-3336

Interviewed: Allison Shein

Interviewer: Researcher Kendall Loren

Date: 28 April 2014

Foreword: Ms. Shein attracted public attention in wake of SCP-3336 for writing a short story describing a fictional version of the same event with the exception of only humans in the story being forced to sneeze. She wrote the piece for a high school writing class and turned it in the day prior to SCP-3336, also sharing it with friends and classmates. One of her friends posted about the coincidence online, leading to the story going viral. The Foundation contacted her through an SCP journalist front for interview.

<Begin Log>

Loren: Thank you for agreeing to an interview this evening.

Shein: Oh, no problem. Never thought I'd be important enough to have an interview.

Loren: What was your inspiration for writing the short story?

Shein: A passing grade, mainly. I haven't really written fiction before, the only reason I was writing fiction in the first place was because my English class wanted us to write short stories. I was brainstorming in class for something to write about, when a classmate and I both sneezed at the same time. This was around 2 weeks before the big sneeze, like, actually happened. It wasn't all too extraordinary, especially since the two of us were known for our allergies, and with it being spring, and with our teacher deciding to have class outside that day. But that was the inspiration: I wanted to take that to the next level: everybody sneezing, not just two people. I thought it would be fun to explore how the world would react to such a ridiculous event. I guess we're living in that world now.

Loren: Can you recall where you were and what you were doing when everybody sneezed?

Shein: Yeah. I got home from band practice and was eating dinner with my sister. I ended up spitting out some carrots because of how unexpected it was while she was talking about her day. The unexpectedness and her not having allergies and being healthy at the time made it much more weird than the synchronized sneeze in class two weeks before. Then we noticed social media was blowing up and saw a few of those first few viral videos, like the one of that Swedish metal band sneezing mid-concert, along with the audience. That's when I started to think I have superpowers.

Loren: And do you have superpowers?

Shein: I'm pretty sure. I mean, it must have been a pretty big coincidence to have happened like that, right? Not to brag or anything, but I don't think anybody else has written about this idea before I did, and basically right after I finished it, it actually happened.

Loren: Have you tried writing any more stories since then?

Shein: Of course I have! I wrote about winning the lottery, then the next day I bought a ticket. I won a hundred dollars. I wrote about finding my true love, and an old friend texted me a few days later to catch up.

Loren: Are those the only stories you've attempted writing?

Shein: Well, no, I wrote a lot more than that. You show a girl that what she writes comes true and of course she's going to try to get everything for herself. Not all of it seemed to have an impact though. I tried small things, like a story about the radio only playing songs that I like, which didn't happen, and also about my Amazon order coming early, which also didn't happen. Another that didn't work was a story about a book falling off of the bookshelf in my room, which hasn't happened… so far. I also wrote about my dad being nice to me for once, which obviously didn't work out. I've tried a whole bunch of stuff. Maybe my powers ran out by changing the whole world, or something, and then trying to find true love and money.

<End Log>

Closing statement: The contents of the interview above were posted to the Foundation front website southcarolinapress.com. The interview effectively ended after Ms. Shein's description of her failed attempts at recreating her apparent anomalies, with Loren branching off to recruit Shein for experimentation. She readily cooperated, and after six months of trial no anomalies of Shein's could be reproduced. After being shown beyond reasonable doubt to be a completely normal young woman, Shein was decommissioned from Foundation operations. Surveillance of Allison Shein will continue for the foreseeable future in case of any renewal of confirmed anomalous abilities. The text Ms. Shein mentioned in the interview did not amount to anything significant.

Interviewed: Reverend Florian Pichler

Interviewer: Agent Monica Storch

Date: 5 June 2014

Foreword: Reverend Florian Pichler, a Protestant minister in the municipality of Pfeffenhausen, Germany, has attracted Foundation attention by predicting apocalyptic events in the spring of 2014, claiming to have had sermons touching on the subject reaching back to 2006. Pichler has largely gone unnoticed by social media given the large amount of religious press following SCP-3336, but the supposedly prophetic nature of the minister prompted the Foundation to investigate. Pichler was contacted and a meeting was arranged between him and Agent Monica Storch, a Rho-11 operative sent for her fluency in German and Protestant background. The following interview has been translated into English for convenience.

<Begin Log>

Pichler: Thank you for flying all the way here for my teachings. I'm so happy that my message is reaching more people, especially in the age we live in today.

Storch: It's my pleasure. I guess you could say it-

Pichler: That it was God who guided you my way?

Storch: You stole the words right out of my mouth.

Pichler: I do have clairvoyant tendencies, you know.

Storch: And that's why I wanted to come speak to you. I want to know more about you and your prophecy.

Pichler: What would you like to know?

Storch: I'd like to know how you knew about the sneeze.

Pichler: Oh, that's simple. I received messages from the Lord himself.

Storch: And how did He reach you?

Pichler: Slowly. Very slowly. He started by giving me only brief visions of mass pestilence across the globe in 2003, which I kept to myself. Over the first few years of contact I saw thousands of people lying in ruin, pale and emaciated, in the aftermath of some horrible, horrible disease. He made it clear to me that this is the future, that I am certain of. The only trouble was the question: 'When is this going to happen?'

Storch: Matthew 24:36, 'But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.'

Pichler: That I am aware of, as I knew not the day or hour. What I did know, however, was the season, as stated in 1 Thessalonians 5:1-6. As God fearing followers of Christ we have the insight necessary to stay wary of the return of the Lord. God in His messages to me told me it would be soon, and as the time of the sneeze approached my certainty grew stronger.

Storch: Did you have any messages sent to you about the sneeze, specifically?

Pichler: Ah, plenty. The visions of pestilence, for one, have an obvious relationship with sneezing. But even stronger so, and you're going to have to take my word for this, the Sunday service I held just prior to the sneeze itself had seven of the attendees sneeze at once during prayer. At first I thought that might have been the defining event of my visions, confirmation of what was to come, but we all know nothing could possibly compare to what happened just a few days later. And my personal certainty of the coming of the end did not climax until everybody sneezed at once that Wednesday! In fact, I was completely alone when it happened, but I instantly knew it was no ordinary sneeze.

Storch: So what's going to happen now that we've received this sign from God?

Pichler: We wait in absolute certainty of a coming of Christ. No being out there is powerful enough to do what every single person just witnessed but God Himself, and for what reason would He do that? To toy with us? No, God is above that, He created this event to test us on our faith. Only those who deserve hellfire are the ones who deny God's obvious involvement in the most inexplicable event in recent history. What else could it be?

Storch: Do you have any idea when the end will truly be upon us?

Pichler: The sneeze was God's last word to me; I haven't heard from him since, so I have no other words but "soon". As you have brought to notice, it's impossible for us to know exactly when Christ will return, but the signs are here. Now we must wait.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: After the interview, Agent Storch reached out to several attendees of Reverend Pichler's service held on 13/04/2014. All eyewitnesses gave roughly matching accounts of the event described by Pichler. Agent Storch has arranged to keep in touch with Reverend Pichler for any relevant prophetic developments. At the writing of this article, Pichler has yet to give any updates pertinent to SCP-3336.

I realize it may seem like we're grasping at straws here, because we are, but that's fine. Given the circumstances, all relevant findings to SCP-3336 are invaluable. Any anomaly that is by its very nature apparent to the public eye undermines everything we work towards here at the Foundation. We are here to protect the world at large, and now we're left with a world in fright. We have witnessed an anomaly that has proven powerful enough to reach out to all life on Earth in an instant; what damage might it be able to cause beyond a mere sneeze? If we can find something, anything that points to an origin of SCP-3336, we might find ourselves with one less apocalypse to worry about.

God bless us all.

Dr. Von Hacht