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Euclid

SCP-3073

All the Men And Women Merely Players

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-3073 is to be kept in a soundproofed containment cell furnished with 1 standard sitting stool as well as 5 folding chairs set up in such a way that SCP-3073 can "present" from the stool to any audience members in the chairs. The room is to be equipped with lights capable of being dimmed by a simple, handheld remote, which will be given to SCP-3073 for it to use at its own discretion.

To ensure the utmost cooperation from SCP-3073, 5 on site personnel, selected at random, are to sit in as audience members for SCP-3073's performances. At least one researcher must be present for each performance to document any new instances of SCP-3073-1.

For their own safety, and for SCP-3073's, all audience members are expected to use proper theater etiquette during performances. D-Class personnel are not to be selected as audience members. See Incident-3073.

Description

SCP-3073 is a male of European descent with long, red hair, and attire that is similar to that of most modern day orchestra conductors. Where its face should be, SCP-3073 instead has a miniature theatrical stage. At most times of the day, this stage is completely hidden by SCP-3073's hair, which acts as a stage curtain. SCP-3073 is fully capable of speech and has demonstrated that it can see, despite its lack of a mouth and eyes. SCP-3073 appears to be fluent in many languages but seem to prefer using English, French, German, and Italian. The only time when SCP-3073's stage is visible is when SCP-3073-1 manifests, at which point SCP-3073 will part its hair. When questioned about its age, SCP-3073 stated it is "as old as the stage itself".

SCP-3073-1 manifests as a cast of miniature humanoids who will begin performing a certain type of live theater on SCP-3073's stage. SCP-3073-1 has been observed performing plays, operas, symphonies and, on one occasion, something one researcher described as a "Penn & Teller-esque magic show". SCP-3073 has shown to be very affectionate towards SCP-3073-1, referring to them as its "little friends". SCP-3073 becomes much more amiable and cooperative after SCP-3073-1 has had a live audience to perform for. Upon questioning about the number of entities that make up SCP-3073-1, SCP-3073 stated it currently has 113 performers.

Strangely, despite SCP-3073's passion for, and extensive knowledge of music and the performing arts, SCP-3073-1's performances are of objectively poor quality, as if most of the cast have little to no experience. Many members of SCP-3073-1 display extreme stage fright, terrible acting skills, and constantly forget lines during plays. Operas are sung off-key, and symphonies have been described as "an earsplitting cacophony". SCP-3073 itself never brings up the quality of SCP-3073-1's performances and becomes evasive when questioned.

Should proper theater etiquette be broken during a performance, such as if an audience member begins talking or booing, all onstage cast members will stop their performance and stare at the offending individual. Should the audience member continue to ignore proper theater etiquette, SCP-3073 will become confrontational and request that the offender leave. If SCP-3073's request is ignored, it will attempt to forcefully remove the audience member.

Incident-3073: During a performance of "Othello", SCP-3073 tackled D-8692, a particularly ill-mannered audience member. The ensuing fight was quickly broken up by the four other audience members, but not before a cast member of SCP-3073-1 was grabbed and killed by D-8692. SCP-3073 became distraught and all performances by SCP-3073-1 ceased. All attempts to communicate with SCP-3073 at this time were unsuccessful.

Two days after the fight, D-8692 suddenly disappeared from his holding cell, at around the same time, SCP-3073-1 began performances again. When questioned, SCP-3073's only response was "We got a new cast member".