SCP-3039

An Antiquated Guide

Special Containment Procedures

Any copies of SCP-3039 are kept in a sealed, opaque storage locker at Site-39. Newly discovered instances are to be retrieved by agents who have been immunized to SCP-3039’s effect. Affected civilians are to read an instance of SCP-3039 to completion before amnestization in order to assure both removal and immunization to SCP-3039's effect.

Description

SCP-3039 is a set of 34 contained instances of a paperback novel, titled An Antiquated Guide to Avoiding Writer’s Block. There is a high possibility of thousands more instances currently uncontained. The author, R. Sebastian, designated PoI-2665, has authored several other anomalies; attempts to track and capture this person are ongoing. The contents of the object are suspected to be highly saturated with infohazards, due to the nature of the object. themselves non-anomalous. The cover features a cognitohazardous image of a nondescript, grey rectangular prism. Upon viewing the image, any exposed parties will be affected by the manifestation of SCP-3039-1.

SCP-3039-1 are rectangular prisms identical to the one depicted by SCP-3039’s cover. Instances of SCP-3039-1 appear whenever an afflicted party (the subject) attempts to record data in any physical fashion. The objects consistently manifest in a location that disallows the subject from recording said information, appearing covering a keyboard when attempting to type or obscuring a paper when attempting to write. Once manifested, SCP-3039-1 are unable to be shifted or damaged, and only dematerialize once the subject ceases attempts to record. Once a subject is under SCP-3039’s effect, no method of removing the effect has proven effective at removing it. See Experiment Log 3039.

Sustained interaction with SCP-3039-1 has proven deleterious to mental health, causing intense enmity and irrationality in subjects. This is theorized to be an additional effect of SCP-3039-1, and not human reaction to the anomaly, due to the extreme shifts in the typical composure of several test subjects.

During the first retrieval, 22 personnel were affected by the object before its effects were fully comprehended.

Experiment Log 3039

Close Experiment Log 3039

Listed are several notable experiments. For the full log, see Document 3039.6.

Experiment 1:
Procedure: Agent Coffey is amnesticized for the past 24 hours.
Result: Agent loses all knowledge of past 24 hours. SCP-3039-1 continue to manifest.
Researcher Notes: Evidently SCP-3039-1 aren't triggered by memory of their appearance. -Researcher Florence

Note: Researcher Teals, one of the first afflicted personnel, has volunteered to join research team. Due to his training with cognitohazards, personal investment, and low value of risk involved, he will be the primary test subject for the foreseeable future. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 15:
Procedure: Subject exposed to a cognitohazard created specifically in an attempt to nullify SCP-3039.
Result: SCP-3039-1 continue to manifest.
Researcher Notes: The results of this experiment and of past experiments appear to show that the effect of SCP-3039 is unable to be removed. In accordance with this school of thought, in order to reassume partial value to affected Foundation assets, the experimentation will focus on circumventing instances of SCP-3039-1 rather than complete neutralization. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 21:
Procedure: Subject attempts to write upon paper. After initial manifestation, the subject shifts the paper and attempts to write upon it once again
Result: SCP-3039-1 manifest initially as expected. When the object is shifted, the instance remains suspended and does not demanifest. The subject attempted to write again, at this point, a new instance of SCP-3039-1 manifested. This effect continued for each shift until the subject ceased attempts to record, at which all instances dematerialized.
Researcher Notes: It’s almost mocking, no? Testing for sentience is under consideration. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 29:
Procedure: Subject attempts to film himself in order to log experiments without assistance.
Result: SCP-3039-1 do not manifest initially. However, upon viewing the recording, SCP-3039-1 obscures view of the subject, and the audio track is replaced with silence. Notably, a recording logged incidentally by the subject, without intent to store information, was free of any changes.
Researcher Notes: It appears intent is the main proponent of SCP-3039-1 manifestation. While it is assumed that SCP-3039-1 will manifest even with external intent as the driving force, this property will be further tested. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 37:
Procedure: Subject attempts to call Researcher Florence on provided phone in order to report the results of several previous experiments.
Result: Subject is unable to transmit any audio to Researcher Florence. However, Researcher Florence is able to relay audio to the subject without issue.
Researcher Notes: Even relay of information to other people is restricted. However, the subject was not prevented from dialing the number or from talking. With the crux of intent in mind, this experiment will be modified slightly and subsequently tested. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 38:
Procedure: Subject attempts to call Researcher Florence on provided phone and speak a string of random words followed by information on previous experiments.
Result: Subject said, "Donkey, watermelon, crime, horse, battery." This portion of the audio was successfully transmitted. Upon switching content of the words spoken, no further audio was transmitted. Before the closing of the experiment, the subject repeated the previous word sequence. The audio was successfully transmitted.
Researcher Notes: This further solidifies the idea of intent being the effect's basis, but shows that information containing no actual information is still able to communicated. -Researcher Florence

Note: Researcher Teals has been showing signs of extreme anxiety since Experiment 38. While his varied attempts to circumvent SCP-3039-1 are commendable, and his current progress is far from nominal, I’m recommending that he be reassigned for a short period of time. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 44:
Procedure: Subject opens SCP-3039’s storage locker and inflicts significant damage to several instances with an axe while screaming counter cognitohazard, “[EXPLETIVE] you, you [EXPLETIVE], blocky [EXPLETIVE]. Let me [EXPLETIVE] write, you [EXPLETIVE]!” This course of action was unauthorized by necessary personnel.
Result: SCP-3039-1 continue to manifest. Cursory checks were performed on other afflicted subjects, SCP-3039-1 continue to manifest. Possibility of additional effects added to SCP-3039-1’s description.
Researcher Notes: Researcher Teals has been reprimanded for unprofessionalism and has been taken off the SCP-3039 research team for 2 weeks. Reprimand aside, this incident shows the anomaly has no degree of sentience as previously theorized, and that the effect is only provoked under certain circumstances. -Researcher Florence

Experiment 53:
Procedure: Researcher suggests that initial qualms of further infohazards being contained within the object may be unfounded, and offered to test it as a last resort. Subject reads through the entirety of the SCP-3039.
Result: SCP-3039 yields no information on dispelling its effects. However, upon further testing, manifestations of SCP-3039-1 no longer occur. Subsequent exposure to SCP-3039’s cover displays the subject is immune to further affliction.
Researcher Notes: This feels so good to put into the written word. Thank you for [EXPUNGED], you [EXPLETIVE] bricks. -Researcher Teals

Researcher Teals has been reprimanded for unprofessionalism.

Transcript of SCP-3039

Close Transcript

Listed are several excerpts from SCP-3039.

Forward:
I would like to thank and wish good luck to both the sorry sap who saw the cover and the Brother, for the inspiration to create.

Page 1:
Here begins a journey. A chapter in your life. Or thirty chapters. So. You think that reading this is gonna help you? I don't think that it will. Or do I? Does it matter? You’ll look through this book eventually. Might as well waste your time now than later. Here lies the story of the reader vs. the book. The writer vs. the block. The moron vs. the essence of futility. Etcetera. A battle of wills, a struggle for the ages! Nah. It's you reading a book that you're convinced will help with your… situation.

Page 320:
You little scamp. Already a third into the book. So confident and hopeful. Good. I like hope. It looks so glorious crushed into the ground. Not really, as it's not even a physical object, but I like to imagine that it does. Chaos is a beauty in spite of itself. Brother, does it look good. Keep reading to have your hopes nice and killed. Oops, did I mention something being killed? You won't be killed. Pinky promise.

Page 756:
You probably wanna know why reading this book hasn't killed you yet. Because you have to suffer and waste your time before you die, obviously. I kid. Or so I say. I planned to place encouragement to read more, maybe even an actual story, but an inspirational friend told me that good PR couldn't and wouldn't bring enough eyes to the page. That people like you wouldn't care unless something caused a ruckus. And death wouldn't cause a ruckus, cause you’d be dead, right? Seems odd that I’m telling you this. Huh. Maybe I’m making all this up to get you to finish this book. You’re almost done with this thing, quitting now would be foolish, right? Or is quitting while you're ahead (and not dead, for rhyming’s sake) the better option?

Page 975:
Here’s the penultimate stop on the train. You’ve almost done it! But what will completing this thing do? I’ve told you that it’ll do nothing for you. Then I told you that I wanted you to read the book. Which one is the truth? Is either one the truth? What if kills you? What if it cures you? What if what I said first was true and it does nothing? Are you fucking brave enough to find out?

Page 976:
Oh look. It’s the end of the journey. The final page. Look. I’ve said some things I regret. I lied. I don't regret it. The Brother has another read, and I have a bigger wallet. You? You’ve wasted several hours of your time. You’ve been mocked and ridiculed for 976 pages. Go ahead. Tell your friends. The magical book that made you read it to stop the blocks from manifesting. You don't have proof though! No picture, no video, no writing. They’ll think you’re insane! So show them. Prove that you aren't insane. Or is it insane that you might force your friend through your experience? Or will you go insane from not telling anyone? Moral dilemma, right?

During rehabilitation from a civilian outbreak, one civilian attempted to read the last page of SCP-3039 first. Upon further testing, not reading every page of the anomaly to completion results in the same occurrence.

Page 976:
Sorry. The cure is not in this page.