Dr. Holloway: I'll remind you that we'll be referring to your physics teacher with pronouns only. Now please, is there anything unusual about his name? Something that strikes you as odd?
D-10380: I guess I don't think about it much because I know the guy so well, but yeah. He's got that kind of name that swirls around your teeth when you say it.
Dr. Holloway: I don't understand.
D-10380: Like, it's the sort of name that looks like it'll trip your tongue up in a million different ways until you actually try, and it just all falls into place and you can feel it vibrating in your bones. It's one of those names you have to hear or see in order to say in the first place, you know the ones. The kind of name nobody can just come up with on their own. I just don't understand why you don't want anyone to actually say it. I mean, that's breaking federal law.
Dr. Holloway: Excuse me?
D-10380: Like, it's illegal to not say his name, right? Or are there exemptions? Oh! Yup, that's right. He told me once in class that it was only legal to not say his name during interviews. Yes, that's right. I don't know how I forgot. You're supposed to say his name when you greet people, though. It's always been like that, ever since graduation when they made us all run down the street. Good times. And it was only possible because of him and his valor during the harvest, even though he said it wasn't, all up on the podium with bags under his eyes going "Bill, you're not a high school student and I'm not a high school teacher. For the love of God do not tell the interviewer my name". But that was Mr. [REDACTED] for you.
Dr. Holloway: I suppose so. I know he'd always sing to himself around school wh-
D-10380: No he didn't.
Dr. Holloway: Yeah he did. He'd sing that one song, "Oh No There's Two of Them Now Please Make It Stop." Something like that. Really weird song, come to think of it.
D-10380: Well, he did say that, but that was during class before the navy stormed in to give him his award.
Dr. Holloway: When did he get an award? That sounds kinda ridiculous. The guy was a physics teacher, not a war hero. He was just… um… oh, I guess he did say that he was, um… we had a conversation about infohazards once.
D-10380: Okay, you lost me.
Dr. Holloway: He said he was one, and that the infection still hadn't gotten to my memories of 2979. We had this long talk about memory and…
Dr. Holloway is silent for a moment, then reaches for a small intercom on the table in front of him and presses a button on it, alerting outside guards.
Dr. Holloway" 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Provided below is a series of interview excerpts between Dr. Holloway and D-10380. Please note that D-10380 dropped out of high school in 10th grade and has never attended a physics class. D-10380 was exposed to SCP-2979-1 2 weeks prior to the interview.
Dr. Holloway: Can you elaborate a bit on what he was like in class? What were you saying earlier about memorization?
D-10380: Ah, yeah. Well generally he only took me into class. Maybe it was because of all the fires he started, or how most of the other students were rambling and raving about how cool he was. Either way, it was an excuse to get some peace and quiet before the drive home. Because there was no space to talk to each other at home. He'd be there, but he'd never have time to get a word in between the creaking of the trees he planted and the sunshine seeping up through the carpet. He was usually good with home renovations but that one time he was sloppy. I mentioned we roomed together right?
Dr. Holloway: Yes. Do you by any chance remember specifically what he had you memorize?
D-10380: Oh boy, that was a long time ago. Funny thing is I still remember it like it was yesterday. He'd say "repeat after me: Hey interviewer, I'm not sure if this will work but please help me. I'm on your side. I want this to stop."
Dr. Holloway: I see… and what made him say that?
D-10380: He said it was to "Get your attention. I'm trapped in here. I don't even know if I exist or not". Something like that. He likes to speak in riddles sometimes, I dunno.
Dr. Holloway: I'll remind you that we'll be referring to your physics teacher with pronouns only. Now please, is there anything unusual about his name? Something that strikes you as odd?
D-10380: I guess I don't think about it much because I know the guy so well, but yeah. He's got that kind of name that swirls around your teeth when you say it.
Dr. Holloway: I don't understand.
D-10380: Like, it's the sort of name that looks like it'll trip your tongue up in a million different ways until you actually try, and it just all falls into place and you can feel it vibrating in your bones. It's one of those names you have to hear or see in order to say in the first place, you know the ones. The kind of name nobody can just come up with on their own. I just don't understand why you don't want anyone to actually say it. I mean, that's breaking federal law.
Dr. Holloway: Excuse me?
D-10380: Like, it's illegal to not say his name, right? Or are there exemptions? Oh! Yup, that's right. He told me once in class that it was only legal to not say his name during interviews. Yes, that's right. I don't know how I forgot. You're supposed to say his name when you greet people, though. It's always been like that, ever since graduation when they made us all run down the street. Good times. And it was only possible because of him and his valor during the harvest, even though he said it wasn't, all up on the podium with bags under his eyes going "Bill, you're not a high school student and I'm not a high school teacher. For the love of God do not tell the interviewer my name". But that was Mr. [REDACTED] for you.
Dr. Holloway: I suppose so. I know he'd always sing to himself around school wh-
D-10380: No he didn't.
Dr. Holloway: Yeah he did. He'd sing that one song, "Oh No There's Two of Them Now Please Make It Stop." Something like that. Really weird song, come to think of it.
D-10380: Well, he did say that, but that was during class before the navy stormed in to give him his award.
Dr. Holloway: When did he get an award? That sounds kinda ridiculous. The guy was a physics teacher, not a war hero. He was just… um… oh, I guess he did say that he was, um… we had a conversation about infohazards once.
D-10380: Okay, you lost me.
Dr. Holloway: He said he was one, and that the infection still hadn't gotten to my memories of 2979. We had this long talk about memory and…
Dr. Holloway is silent for a moment, then reaches for a small intercom on the table in front of him and presses a button on it, alerting outside guards.
Dr. Holloway Um, this is Holloway. I need amnestics.
When he was retrieved, Dr. Holloway had no recollection of SCP-2979, and claimed it was a government conspiracy set up by the "Anti-Medal Collaborative." Both he and D-10380 were treated with Class-F amnestics and made a full recovery over the course of the next few weeks.
