SCP-2835

Description

SCP-2835 is a VHS video cassette of a previously unreleased episode of The Adventures of Paddy the Pelican, a short-lived WENR-TV cartoon series from the fall of 1950. The episode is titled "Love Me, Do It!"

SCP-2835 is longer than the average episode of the show, running for 30 minutes as opposed to five minutes. Although the plot remains largely the same (Paddy the Pelican searching for his long-lost father), the content of SCP-2835 changes depending on the reaction of the viewer. The title character (referred to as 2835-1) will periodically interact with the viewers and prod them to express their opinion of the cartoon so far, often in a defensive, demanding, and threatening manner. Contrary to earlier episodes of the show, SCP-2835-1 displays characteristics of extreme paranoia and demands constant affirmation.

Test Log 2835-D-2239

Viewer: D-2239

<Begin Log>

[Redacted for relevance]

SCP-2835-1: So Freddy Fox knows who my real father is? Ain't that a laugh and a half. Who were you expecting my father to be, █████ ██████████?

D-2239: How do you know my name?

SCP-2835-1: No, no, no, no-no-no-no-no. We're not doing this "answer a question with a question" crap. I asked you who you think my real father is. I think I'm entitled to an answer, █████. Do you have any idea how hard I worked on this episode?!

D-2239: …Kenny Crow is your dad?

SCP-2835-1: Good Christ, are you blind?! Kenny and I are like the same age. I mean, where did you get the idea that he's my old man? Am I really being that confusing?!

D-2239: I'm sorry.

SCP-2835-1: You're sorry? Don't care! Reap what you sow. Reap it!

[SCP-2835-1 begins sobbing hysterically]

SCP-2835-1: I'm sorry. I'm a failure. I don't know why I even bother with this show anymore.

D-2239: Look—

SCP-2835-1: Reap what you sow, cocksucker!

[screen cuts to black, tape ejects]

<End Log>

Test Log 2835-D-2419

Viewer: D-2419

<Begin Log>

[Redacted for relevance]

SCP-2835-1: Gee whiz, I sure do love ice cream cones. How about you, ██████?

[13 seconds of silence]

SCP-2835-1: I'm talking to you, ██████.

D-2419: Excuse me?

SCP-2835-1: I'm holding an ice cream cone. It looks delicious. Don't you think it looks delicious? This isn't hard, ██████. I know you didn't go to college or anything, but don't tell me you're so stupid you don't know what a good ice cream cone looks like.

D-2419: The fuck?

SCP-2835-1: Yes, or no? Is this ice cream delicious? God! I put all this work into making this ice cream look tasty, and here you are twiddling your thumbs at me. Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is?!

D-2419: Dude, your cartoon isn't even that great. A lot of the animation just cycles over itself without any regard for lip syncing.

[SCP-2835-1 drops the ice cream]

SCP-2835-1: See that? That shit was the last mistake you ever made, you dumb Hoosier fuck.

D-2419: Are you gonna get back to the cartoon, or—

SCP-2835-1: No! You had your chance to watch my work respectfully, you inbred horse-fucker. Then look what you did? "Daaah, dude, you suck, I could be a better cartoon pelican than you ever could be, I brush my teeth with bacon grease, what's long division?" I swear to God and all his saints and angels I'm gonna fucking scoop you! Down the throat, right in the acid, everything you hold dear, reap what you sow!

D-2419: Fuck you.

SCP-2835-1: Reap what you sow, ██████ ███████████. 2499 N. ████ Terrace, ████████, Indiana, █████? Your kids are adorable. Especially ██████. Do they know that their own father fed them to me?

D-2419: Wait, there is no way in hell that you knew—

SCP-2835-1: Reap what you sow! You deserve it. Everything gets what they deserve. Even the undeserving get what they deserve. But the deserving? The deserving! Oh, yeah. You and everyone you love! Reap what you sow! I am gonna enjoy every second of this, and you've got no one to blame but yourself. Reap what you sow! Reap what you sow! Reap what you sow! Reap what—

[screen cuts to black, tape ejects]

<End Log>

Addendum: Effective 11/19/16, further viewing of SCP-2835 has been suspended indefinitely by Dr. Naismith. Proposals to resume viewing with SCP-1722 present are currently pending review. ( Note: We can't take any more chances. Even if he's bluffing, it's specific bluffing, and the implications are, at best, troubling. - Dr. Naismith ).