Interviewed: SCP-2785
Interviewer: Researcher Calvin
Foreword: Project Supervisor ██████ approved an interview with SCP-2785, in order to gain an understanding of its new behavior.
<Begin Log, 09/██/2014 ██:██>
Researcher Calvin: Good evening, SCP-2785.
SCP-2785: Ah, finally! Someone to speak with! You know, it is woefully dull, sitting in a blank room with nobody to speak with.
Researcher Calvin: Alright, now-
SCP-2785 emits a screech at about ██ dB. It is assumed that this a cry of excitement.
Researcher Calvin: I have come to talk about the electronics integrated within you. Could you shine some light on these for us?
SCP-2785: Oh yes, electronics! Wonderful things, aren't they? You know, before I found out about electronics, I could barely even do addition by myself! Now, I can do all sorts of math that even you wouldn't believe! Have you heard about exponents? I think not, it's the kind of math that aliens would do! Watch this!
SCP-2785 begins to carve a simple exponential equation into the table, and then solves it.
SCP-2785: Are you amazed yet?
Researcher Calvin: Could you please detail how you discovered electronics?
SCP-2785: Not even a gasp of shock? Do you not have wonder?
[SCP-2785 and Researcher Calvin argue about the simplicity of exponential equations for four (4) minutes. Extraneous dialogue removed]
Researcher Calvin: You know, if you aren't willing to give us information, I guess I'll be on my way…
Researcher Calvin begins to stand up.
SCP-2785: No, please! Don't leave!
Researcher Calvin: Okay.
Researcher Calvin sits back down.
Researcher Calvin: How did you discover electronics?
SCP-2785: Oh, it was amazing! I saw one of your people press a singular button on a device that couldn't have been much larger than a stone tablet, and it immediately displayed seven pictures! Seven!
SCP-2785 remains silent for two (2) seconds.
SCP-2785: After all, if you had devices capable of these wonders, what chance did I have? So I did what any self-respecting man would do, and became a better person! It took quite a while, but by snooping in on your conversations, I discovered the secrets of these wonders that you call "electronics", and eventually used them to transform myself!
Researcher Calvin: It's against protocol to expose humanoids to advanced technology. Could you describe how these electronics affected your actions?
SCP-2785: It was wonderful, once I put the first electronics in! It was like I had been blind my whole life, and now I could see! Do you want to know how many new, alien types of mathematics that I learned?
Researcher Calvin: No.
SCP-2785: These mathematics will blow your mind to beyond the rings of the planet Sat-
Researcher Calvin: (interrupting, noticeably frustrated) This isn't going anywhere… How did you know about SCP-1360?
SCP-2785: It's simple. Once I managed to put together a humble [DATA REDACTED] together, and I discovered a wealth of knowledge! Did you know that knowledge is just floating in the air? I don't see why you don't have a [DATA REDACTED] inside of you, too! I can see the latest news, the newest gossip, and even recipes! I've always wanted to cook! Do you want me to make you the dish referred to as "coffee?"
Researcher Calvin sighs
Researcher Calvin: We're not getting any new information here.
Researcher Calvin begins to stand up.
SCP-2785: Wait! You have yet to see the magic of long division!
<End Log, 09/██/2014 ██:██>
Closing Statement" id="">Addendum 2785.1:
Records have shown that SCP-2785 was created in 1849 by Russian engineer ███████ ████, hereby referred to as SCP-2785-B. After his wife had a miscarriage, SCP-2785-B fell into depression, and spent most of his time creating sculptures. He created an approximate ██ sculptures out of various materials, one of these sculptures being SCP-2785. None of these sculptures have shown any anomalous properties except for SCP-2785. Due to SCP-2785-B's disappearance in 1856, combined with SCP-2785-A's organic composition, it is assumed that [DATA EXPUNGED], leading to the creation of SCP-2785-A and therefore SCP-2785. It is unknown how SCP-2785-B managed to harness SCP-███, nor how he managed to delay its effect for so long.
SCP-2785 came to the Foundation's attention in ████, when denizens of the village of ██████, ████████ reported a "monstrosity made out of metal" stealing their belongings. SCP-2785 was captured by the Foundation and brought to Area-██, where it remained until the construction of Site-17 in 1963, when it was then moved there at the request of Project Supervisor █████. SCP-2785 has been in Foundation custody for ███ years and has undergone a corresponding number of SCP-2785-1 events.
Addendum 2785.2:
Interviewed: SCP-2785
Interviewer: Researcher Calvin
Foreword: This interview was carried out after a regular SCP-2785-1 event, in order to further ascertain the nature of SCP-2785,
<Begin Log, 01/17/2005 ██:██>
Researcher Calvin: (in Russian) Greetings, SCP-2785. I was hoping tha- (interrupted)
SCP-2785: (in English) You do not have to speak my language. I am able to speak yours.
Researcher Calvin: (in English) Wha- could you please tell me how you learned how to speak "our language"?
SCP-2785: Your people speak it all the time. I decided it was easier for your people if I learned your language.
Researcher Calvin: …okay. How are you, SCP-2785?
SCP-2785: I am doing well today, my friend. I thank you for asking.
Researcher Calvin: It's my pleasure. Now, could you please give some insight on why you undergo SCP-2785-1 events?
SCP-2785: I am sorry, but I have not learned that term yet. Could you please describe it to me?
Researcher Calvin: I believe you refer to it as "Преобразование".
SCP-2785: Oh. Are you saying that you do not transform?
Researcher Calvin: Pardon?
SCP-2785: Three cycles ago, I perceived you with slightly more orange skin than usual. I had assumed you had transformed.
Researcher Calvin: What? No, that was just… that wasn't a transformation.
SCP-2785: Oh. I had assumed you had made yourself more orange, in order to make yourself more attractive to your peers.
Researcher Calvin: No, I did not. Are you saying that you undergo SCP-2785-1 events in order to become more attractive?
SCP-2785: Unfortunately, I cannot feel love. I preform transformations to make myself better.
Researcher Calvin: Could you please elaborate?
SCP-2785: As you must know, I have had a lot of years. I lost count a time long ago, though I've counted at least seven tens. Now, your people keep making new machines. And these machines are far better than I. For example, I just picked up wind of "cars" that can magically move you across the land in little time. I am unable to compete with that. So I transform to make myself better. In that way, I can still service your people.
Researcher Calvin: So are you compelled to "service" us?
SCP-2785: It's what ████████ wanted me to do.
Researcher Calvin: ████████ ████? The man who created you?
SCP-2785: Correct, though I like to think of ████████ as my father. He made me so he could have a child, I believe, who could carry on his legacy. I feel like I owe it to ████████ for bringing me into this world, despite the cost…
Researcher Calvin: Are you referring to [DATA EXPUNGED]?
SCP-2785: Yes, [DATA EXPUNGED]. I find it sad that ████████ had to perish in that unfortunateness. You know, he could've survived, if he knew what he was doing back then. I still continue to miss him.
Researcher Calvin: Looks like it's time to wrap up here. Do you have any final words?
SCP-2785: Yes. I would like to thank you for your hospitality here. Without your people to assist… well, I might go insane.
<End Log, 01/17/2005 ██:██>
Closing Statement: It is of note that Researcher Calvin took a vacation to [DATA REDACTED] on ██/██/2002, and came back with noticeably more tanned skin.
Addendum 2785.3: On 01/15/2014, two days prior to an SCP-2785-1 event, SCP-2785 requisitioned a large amount of copper for its transformation, in addition to other metals. However, for the first time in its containment, SCP-2785 did not requisition cloth or wood parts.
The SCP-2785-1 event took three hours longer than usual, mostly due to SCP-2785 using its tools to shape materials into electronic devices, then integrating them into the new instance of SCP-2785.
When SCP-2785 was interviewed following the event, SCP-2785 reported that it had "seen the better machines", and wanted to "catch up". Following this event, the gap between SCP-2785-1 events shortened from one year to thirty days, though SCP-2785 requisitioned far less material for these events. Exposing SCP-2785 to modern electronics is strictly forbidden from this point.
Addendum 2785.4:
As of 07/██/2014, SCP-2785 has integrated electronic components fully into its form, replacing about 94.61 percent of its mechanical components. Radio analysis has revealed that SCP-2785-A no longer spins in its former fashion; rather, it emits electricity at approximately 250 volts. Some upgrades to itself include replacing gear systems with electronic motors, replacement of it's tool hand (which was formerly a shovel), with a regular hand, though with several more tools integrated into it, and the replacement of its mechanical voice-box with an electronic synthesizer.
On 08/██/2014, SCP-2785 asked to meet with SCP-1360, asserting that it wanted to "cheer it up". It is of note that SCP-2785 was not informed of SCP-1360's existence. An observation of SCP-2785's innards revealed an electric signal interception system in the model of a standard Foundation [DATA REDACTED]. Due to the possibility of SCP-2785 gaining knowledge of technologies with the potential of causing a containment breach, as well as the obvious breach of information, SCP-2785's containment procedures were revised, and SCP-2785 has not displayed any information breaches since.
Addendum 2785.5:
Interviewed: SCP-2785
Interviewer: Researcher Calvin
Foreword: Project Supervisor ██████ approved an interview with SCP-2785, in order to gain an understanding of its new behavior.
<Begin Log, 09/██/2014 ██:██>
Researcher Calvin: Good evening, SCP-2785.
SCP-2785: Ah, finally! Someone to speak with! You know, it is woefully dull, sitting in a blank room with nobody to speak with.
Researcher Calvin: Alright, now-
SCP-2785 emits a screech at about ██ dB. It is assumed that this a cry of excitement.
Researcher Calvin: I have come to talk about the electronics integrated within you. Could you shine some light on these for us?
SCP-2785: Oh yes, electronics! Wonderful things, aren't they? You know, before I found out about electronics, I could barely even do addition by myself! Now, I can do all sorts of math that even you wouldn't believe! Have you heard about exponents? I think not, it's the kind of math that aliens would do! Watch this!
SCP-2785 begins to carve a simple exponential equation into the table, and then solves it.
SCP-2785: Are you amazed yet?
Researcher Calvin: Could you please detail how you discovered electronics?
SCP-2785: Not even a gasp of shock? Do you not have wonder?
[SCP-2785 and Researcher Calvin argue about the simplicity of exponential equations for four (4) minutes. Extraneous dialogue removed]
Researcher Calvin: You know, if you aren't willing to give us information, I guess I'll be on my way…
Researcher Calvin begins to stand up.
SCP-2785: No, please! Don't leave!
Researcher Calvin: Okay.
Researcher Calvin sits back down.
Researcher Calvin: How did you discover electronics?
SCP-2785: Oh, it was amazing! I saw one of your people press a singular button on a device that couldn't have been much larger than a stone tablet, and it immediately displayed seven pictures! Seven!
SCP-2785 remains silent for two (2) seconds.
SCP-2785: After all, if you had devices capable of these wonders, what chance did I have? So I did what any self-respecting man would do, and became a better person! It took quite a while, but by snooping in on your conversations, I discovered the secrets of these wonders that you call "electronics", and eventually used them to transform myself!
Researcher Calvin: It's against protocol to expose humanoids to advanced technology. Could you describe how these electronics affected your actions?
SCP-2785: It was wonderful, once I put the first electronics in! It was like I had been blind my whole life, and now I could see! Do you want to know how many new, alien types of mathematics that I learned?
Researcher Calvin: No.
SCP-2785: These mathematics will blow your mind to beyond the rings of the planet Sat-
Researcher Calvin: (interrupting, noticeably frustrated) This isn't going anywhere… How did you know about SCP-1360?
SCP-2785: It's simple. Once I managed to put together a humble [DATA REDACTED] together, and I discovered a wealth of knowledge! Did you know that knowledge is just floating in the air? I don't see why you don't have a [DATA REDACTED] inside of you, too! I can see the latest news, the newest gossip, and even recipes! I've always wanted to cook! Do you want me to make you the dish referred to as "coffee?"
Researcher Calvin sighs
Researcher Calvin: We're not getting any new information here.
Researcher Calvin begins to stand up.
SCP-2785: Wait! You have yet to see the magic of long division!
<End Log, 09/██/2014 ██:██>
Closing Statement For three weeks following this interview, SCP-2785 used a small drillbit in its finger to draw medium-difficulty equations in the walls of its cell, as well as phrases such as "Have you been amazed yet?"