SCP-2754

Description

SCP-2754 is a paperback self-help book that is 326 pages in length. The contents of SCP-2754 are split into seven chapters written by the now deceased Ruth Wates and a prolugue [sic] written by Dr. Bill Simmons.

When the conditions for triggering SCP-2754's anomalous effects are not met, SCP-2754 contains advice on various topics such as finding the motivation to do certain tasks, finding an individual's purpose in life, and finding happiness in an individual's professional situation. In various pages, there is a caricature drawing of Ms. Wates' head with a speech bubble going into further detail about the content on that particular page. These speech bubbles typically have a pun relating to the topic discussed in the associated chapter of the page. SCP-2754's publisher page indicates that it was printed in 1988 by ██████ Press. (See Addendum 2754-02 for further details.)

Anomalous properties of SCP-2754 manifest when a subject has a desire to know how to accomplish a specific task and opens SCP-2754 to a random page. Regardless of where in the book the subject has opened, the first page that is seen is a page that reads "Chapter 8: Your Questions Answered." Subsequent pages in SCP-2754 contains advice on how to best accomplish the task the subject wishes to do. The caricature of Ms. Wates is also present in pages in this state, however it will make statements that are directly targeted to the subject reading it, which will contain details of the subject's personal life, their dietary habits, childhood memories, and the subject's family and friends. At the end of the chapter, there is a sentence that reads "Know your limits, but push on forward. I believe in you, [Subject's Name]!"

Addendum 2754-01: Media Interview Transcript

Interviewed: Ruth Wates

Interviewer: Sandra ███, the host of ███████ Today, a popular local morning talk show based in ███████, IA.

Foreword: The interview was conducted during a segment of ███████ Today called "Smart Cookies", in which self-help experts in the city of ███████ provide life advice to the viewers of the program. The interview was recorded on 08/11/88. The portion of the interview not concerning SCP-2754 has been omitted for brevity.

<Begin Log>

Sandra: Welcome back to ███████ Today! You just saw a little cartoon cookie being eaten. That means it's time for my personal favorite subject, Smart Cookies! Our guest speaker for today is Miss Ruth Wates. Everyone in the studio audience give a warm round of applause to her!

Ruth: Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here after all.

[Omitted, skipping to 4:26]

Sandra: Now it's to my understanding that you've just published a book…

Ruth: That's right! In fact, I just happen to have a copy with me right now!

[Ms. Wates pulls SCP-2754 from her coat.]

Sandra: Oh really? I'm assuming it's about the stuff we've been talking about right now?

Ruth: Yep! It has eight chapters of self-help action. My favorite chapter is naturally the eighth one, because I teach you how to use the skills in the book to accomplish anything you've been wanting to do or learn how to do. Go ahead, try it!

[Ms. Wates hands Ms. ███ SCP-2754.]

Sandra: Well, I've always wanted to take up gardening for some time, but the opportunity never presented itself…

Ruth: Well flip open the book to find out how!

[Ms. ███ opens SCP-2754 somewhere near the end of the book, triggering SCP-2754's effect.]

Sandra: Well gosh be darned! How did you accomplish something like this?

Ruth: Oh, I just added a tinge of my own little spice. It's a family secret, but what I can tell the people at home is that it won't just be able to tell you how to garden. Anything you set your mind on is possible, and my book will give you the tools you need to accomplish it.

Sandra: Amazing, just amazing! How much will your book cost?

Ruth: I'm glad you asked! Head on to your local bookstore on August 21st and you can get the book for only ten dollars!

Sandra: Well that sounds like quite the steal! I don't know about the viewers at home, but I know I'll be buying a copy.

Ruth: Well I humbly thank you.

Sandra: You're most welcome! We'll be back right after these messages.

<End Log>

Addendum 2754-02: Discovery Log

The existence of SCP-2754 was brought to the attention of Field Agent Valenzia on 03/30/91 while she was off duty. Agent Valenzia was speaking with an individual who will remain unidentified about his work ethic and inability to accomplish tasks given to him. He claimed that he had bought a self-help book that he saw on an interview on ███████ Today which would help him run for local office, but he claimed that the book was "false advertising" and stated that he would take legal action against Ms. Wates. Agent Valenzia quickly found a recording of the aforementioned interview and subsequently reported it to the Foundation. Ms. Wates address at the time was discovered by the Foundation and a raid was issued at her residence. The house was apparently abandoned and SCP-2754 was located on the floor in her bedroom.

Further research revealed that SCP-2754 was published by ██████ Press as previously mentioned in this file, and investigation began on a warehouse that belonged to the company. The Foundation seized 600 potential copies of SCP-2754. Subsequent testing revealed that none of the seized copies of the book were anomalous and were returned to ██████ Press' warehouse. An employee at the company stated that most of the copies that the Foundation has confiscated were returns from customers. Grade A amnestics were given to all individuals involved in the incident. It is worth noting that the non-anomalous copies of SCP-2754 had "prologue" spelled correctly on the cover.

Investigation of Ruth Wates found that she was killed in a car accident on 09/04/89 in ███, SD. Further investigation into the background of Ms. Wates is currently ongoing.

Addendum 2754-03 Note found upon discovery of SCP-2754

God damn idiots. All I wanted to do was help people. Nobody bought my first book. The second I try something different it blows up in my face. I wonder if [DATA EXPUNGED] was even worth the trouble. I suppose this isn't something to be depressed or angry about. I just have to keep going. I may have to leave town.