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Esoteric

SCP-2496

A New Parallel Postulate

Object Class: Esoteric

Special Containment Procedures

A digital copy of SCP-2496 is available on Site 81's mainframe to personnel with Clearance 3/2496. Testing protocols for SCP-2496 are currently being updated.

Description

SCP-2496 is a test composed of sixty English-language multiple-choice questions on the topic of neuroscience, roughly appropriate for university students in an introductory course. On its own, each question is mundane, if unconventionally worded; SCP-2496's anomalous properties only occurring when all questions are presented together. The order of the questions is irrelevant.

Regardless of aptitude or other obstructions, any human who attempts to complete SCP-2496 will correctly answer a number of questions equal to exactly half of the time (measured in minutes and rounded to the nearest minute) taken to complete the test, with two hours being sufficient for a perfect score. For example, a person who spends forty minutes on SCP-2496 will answer twenty questions correctly, without exception. Spending more than 120 minutes on the test results in a score of 60. Highly improbable events, unusual behavior, and direct violation of the laws of physics have been noted during testing. See attached testing logs for additional information.


Excerpts from Testing Log 2496-A

Subject: D-7278. The subject took an introductory neuroscience course in university three years prior to this test, receiving a final grade of 55%.
Parameters: D-7278 was instructed to complete SCP-2496 to the best of her ability.
Results: D-7278 completed the test in 108 minutes. 54 questions out of 60 were answered correctly. 54 points were awarded.

Subject: D-7278.
Parameters: D-7278 was given the correct answers to SCP-2496 and instructed to transcribe them in under twenty minutes.
Results: D-7278's pencil broke after answering the fifth question. Repeated attempts to sharpen the pencil only resulted in further fracturing, from which D-7278 received several splinters. A pen given to D-7278 experienced similar damage when used, spilling ink over the provided answer sheet and rendering most of it illegible. D-7278 then experienced an unprecedented allergic reaction to the pen's ink while handling the answer sheet. The subject expired precisely ten minutes after beginning the test, in spite of prompt medical attention. Five points were awarded.

Subject: D-4360. The subject possesses limited fluency in English and only cursory familiarity with neuroscience.
Parameters: D-4360 was given five minutes to answer as much of SCP-2496 as possible by circling the letter associated with the correct response, and threatened with punishment for incorrect answers.
Results: The subject was able to answer four questions, with two correct and one incorrect. Different observers have disagreed on whether 'B' (the correct answer) or 'C' (an incorrect answer) was given for question 2; thus, subject was given a final score of 2.5 out of 60. Digital image analysis and chemical tests of the paper have returned contradictory results on which was circled. D-4360 claims to have circled 'D'.

Subject: D-4688. The subject has no formal education in any sciences.
Parameters: SCP-2496 was administered to D-4688 orally with a five minute time limit.
Results: The first five answers given were unremarkable, with D-4688 answering two correctly, apparently by chance. After the sixth question was asked, D-4688's vocal tract spontaneously duplicated, resulting in two mouths side by side. D-4688 vocalized through both vocal tracts simultaneously, giving both an incorrect answer and the correct answer. Repeated interrogation has failed to identify a manner in which D-4688 could clarify which answer they intended, as each new method attempted resulted in additional anatomical modifications. D-4688 has been retained for study. 2.5 points were awarded.

Subject: D-6918. The subject is somewhat proficient with a bow and arrow.
Parameters: D-6918 was instructed to answer SCP-2496 by shooting arrows at appropriately labeled targets at Site-81's recreational area. In each case, the correct answer was fully obstructed by a large pillar, although their location was obvious. Subject was given two hours for this attempt.
Results: The subject used the bow and arrow to answer all questions correctly. In thirty-seven cases, the arrow was shot through the pillar, despite the arrow lacking the momentum to do so. In nineteen cases, arrows were deflected off of objects in the recreational area to hit the targets, demonstrating behavior inconsistent with their construction. In the remaining four cases, gusts of wind changed the course of an arrow mid-flight, directing it around the pillar and allowing it to hit the correct target. Notably, Site-81's recreational area is indoors. Full points were awarded.

Subject: D-6918.
Parameters: D-6918 was instructed to answer SCP-2496 by placing ten-kilogram weights with appropriate labels at designated spots in the testing chamber. The subject was given SCP-2496 for two minutes initially before it was taken away for one hour, fifty-seven minutes, and fifty-five seconds. D-6918 was instructed to finish SCP-2496 in the remaining five seconds under threat of termination.
Results: D-6918 completed one problem in the first two minutes, expressing doubt that she would be able to complete SCP-2496. When SCP-2496 was returned, the subject moved at an estimated 24 meters per second while moving and placing the weights to correspond to her answers before the time limit. D-6918 experienced severe fatigue, dehydration, several torn ligaments in the limbs, a broken collarbone, and two dislocated shoulders. All answers were found to be correct, and full points were awarded.