SCP-2416
The Day the Clown Died
Special Containment Procedures
The current instance of SCP-2416 (now SCP-2416-21) is to be kept in a drug-induced coma at Site-59 and monitored for vital signs. If SCP-2416-21 dies for any reason, Mobile Task Force Omicron-8 "Send In The Clowns" is to be placed on high alert, and the replacement instance is to be apprehended and contained in the same manner as soon as possible.
Description
SCP-2416 refers to multiple instances of a 35-year-old Caucasian human male named Joseph Grunderson-Pike. Despite having unextraordinary brain activity and no history of neurological disorders, SCP-2416 displays diminished intellectual capacity and a high likelihood of getting into a lethal accident.
On 1/14/2006, SCP-2416-1, the original1 instance, was killed after walking onto an expressway in Chicago. This was not believed to have been suicide; shortly before it was struck by a speeding minivan, its last words were reportedly "Hey, this isn't State street!" SCP-2416-1 had funeral services, was cremated, and its death was reported in multiple Chicago newspapers.
On 3/15/2006, a living instance of SCP-2416, SCP-2416-2, was stabbed to death in Omaha after it tied a convicted murderer's shoelaces together for a prank. SCP-2416-2 was determined by law enforcement officials to be an outsider with no friends or relations in Omaha and was buried.
It is unknown how a new instance of SCP-2416 appears after the death of a previous instance. The latest instance always claims to have no recollection of having died at all, and has passed multiple polygraph tests while giving this testimony. The origin point of a "reincarnated" instance has never been successfully located, and all sightings of SCP-2416 instances have been after-the-fact.
| Instance | Cause of Death | Comments |
|---|---|---|
| SCP-2416-3 | Overconsumption of pepper sauce. | Witnesses report that SCP-2416-3 was attempting to become "the spiciest". |
| SCP-2416-4 | Head split in half with a table saw. | Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". |
| SCP-2416-5 | Mauled by a puma. | Had covered self in uncooked bacon in a zoo puma habitat on a dare. |
| SCP-2416-6 | Rattlesnake bite. | Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". |
| SCP-2416-7 | Slept in the center of a freeway. | Was "tired". |
| SCP-2416-8 | [REDACTED] | The badgers suffered only minor injuries. |
| SCP-2416-9 | Shot by Chilean anarchists. | Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". |
| SCP-2416-10 | Subjected to voluntary human experimentation by Church of the Broken God scientists; ultimate cause of death was cranial hemorrhage. | Corpse was discovered by the Foundation in a raid on the CotBG compound; Dr. ███████ reported corpse's resemblance to an urban legend about a man who comes back from the dead. |
| SCP-2416-11 | Attempted to climb the side of the Chrysler Building without proper equipment. | Reports of death confirmed anomalous properties; Dr. ███████ orders the capture of SCP-2416. |
| SCP-2416-12 | Cocaine overdose. | Believed it would alleviate sinus congestion. |
| SCP-2416-13 | Alcohol poisoning. | Believed it would "lubricate" a broken arm. |
| SCP-2416-14 | Exsanguinated after shoving a foot into a blender. | Circumstances unknown. |
| SCP-2416-15 | Shot by Site-59 security personnel for accessing a STURM-class infohazard. | This iteration was the first to come under Foundation custody. |
| SCP-2416-16 | Choked on food rations at Site-59. | "Really liked" oatmeal. |
| SCP-2416-17 | Head fracture from slamming own head on wall of its cell. | Was attempting to swat a fly. |
| SCP-2416-18 | Climbed into Site-59 incinerator. | Was looking for a bathroom. |
| SCP-2416-19 | Gained access to a lethal cognitohazard. | Was "just curious." |
| SCP-2416-20 | Overdose of Acetaminophen at Site-59. | See below. |
Interviewed: SCP-2416-20
Interviewer: Dr. Ichinose
<Begin Log>
Dr. Ichinose: Please state your name for the record, SCP-2416-20.
SCP-2416-20: Joe Grunderson-Pike. I got a quick question before we get started.
Dr. Ichinose: Yes?
SCP-2416-20: What did you say was the normal amount of those pills you gave me to take for a headache?
Dr. Ichinose: Two tablets.
SCP-2416-20: Wow. Yeah, that… That actually makes a lot more sense.
[SCP-2416-20, having consumed 203 tablets of extra-strength Tylenol from the Breach desk storage bin, falls unconscious]
Dr. Ichinose: Medic!
<End Log>
Closing Statement: SCP-2416-20 died shortly thereafter. SCP-2416-21 was later found wandering the streets of San Francisco and apprehended.