SCP-2253

Description

SCP-2253 is an anomalous brewery located in Springfield, NJ, USA. Whenever alcoholic beverages are brewed on the premises, they have a 5% chance of being mixed with a protoplasmic substance. In addition, a spectral humanoid entity resides within SCP-2253 with limited ability to manipulate its surroundings.

This free-floating incorporeal entity (SCP-2253-1) identifies as Stephen Crane, an American politician who served as a delegate to the Continental Congress from 1774 to 1776.¹ It is apparently in a perpetual state of intoxication. SCP-2253-1 is capable of exerting up to 20N of force and excreting various protoplasmic fluids. These excretions usually manifest as SCP-2253-1 simulating bodily functions.

The alcoholic beverages containing SCP-2253 protoplasmic fluids are non-anomalous, with chemical analysis revealing that it is identical to Ethyl Hexanoate². Consumption of the beverages has shown enhanced taste and flavor, although testing has shown mild to severe abdominal discomfort when consumed after consuming foodstuffs such as tea, fish and chips, and other British cuisine.

SCP-2253-1 is cooperative, and researchers are encouraged to converse with it whenever possible in order to learn more about its origins and properties.

History: SCP-2253's properties were initially noted after being purchased by a craft brewing operation. It is unknown if SCP-2253 had its effects prior to this due to preexisting records being destroyed by Hurricane Diane. Initially, SCP-2253-1 attempted to frighten the new occupants out of SCP-2253. However SCP-2253-1 ceased its harassment after learning that they intended to brew alcoholic beverages. Following this, the protoplasmic substances began manifesting within SCP-2253.

Due to the name of the brewery,³ agents of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. began investigating shortly after this initial opening, believing it to be a Foundation front. MC&D agents made several offers to purchase SCP-2253, all of which were refused by the owners. The refusal was partially motivated by SCP-2253-1's distaste towards a British corporation. MC&D, in turn, believed their business to be a front for the SCP Foundation to monitor their New England activities.

MC&D attempted to seize SCP-2253 by force on ██/██/████. After initial success in securing the property and detaining all occupants, SCP-2253-1 became hostile and began using cooking utensils, brewing equipment benches and granite counter-tops as projectile weapons against the MC&D Agents. Local police began to respond to reports of an ongoing shootout, and brought Foundation office's attention the situation. Three MC&D agents were captured, and fifteen local police officers were administered Class-B amnestics.

As of ██/██/████ SCP-2253 is classified as Safe.

Addendum: Investigation into SCP-2253-1's relationship with Stephen Crane has been ongoing, due to the entity making frequent incorrect or impossible statements about Mr. Crane's life. SCP-2253-1 has attributed this to intoxication and age creating a propensity for exaggeration, but other theories about persons who have died on the property or could be considered candidates for other reasons.

• Samson Crane - Resident of Springfield from 1765 to 1781, when his head was stomped on by a mule outside a tavern. Notably, several primary historical sources from the time indicate that he had at least a partial resemblance to Stephen Crane, and was possibly a cousin.
• Samuel Chase - Signer of the Declaration of Independence. SCP-2253-1 has claimed to be a judge in the past, frequently when the owners of SCP-2253 were discussing legal procedures and taxes. SCP-2253-1 has identified itself as "Sam" and "Sammy" on multiple occasions.
• Unknown youth - Obituaries from 1915 indicate that a youth attending college in the area struck his head on concrete and was killed at a costume party taking place in the area. Notably, the party was apparently put on by a local historical society.