SCP-1822

? WHO DID THIS ?

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-1822 has been shown to uniformly permeate 100% of the observable universe, and therefore cannot be contained. Thankfully, SCP-1822 does not pose a significant risk to the public or Foundation operations. Therefore, containment efforts are to be focused on minimizing knowledge of the extent of SCP-1822's properties. Foundation agents stationed in various sites of interest such as places of academia, statistics and research laboratories are to monitor and report any findings that may lead to the discovery of SCP-1822's anomalous qualities.

Description

Description: SCP-1822 is the designation for a set of anomalous empirical proofs of mathematical statistics and their related laws, including most █████ laws, ████'s law, the ██████ principle, and the ██████-█████████ law,¹ which show an unexplained proportionality between unrelated phenomena and present in large sets of data. SCP-1822 implies that the ratio of ██.█:██.█ is universally constant throughout many seemingly random forms of qualia² and therefore gives rise to predictable patterns of behavior in systems that should otherwise be highly variable. To date, the Foundation has been actively trying to suppress knowledge of SCP-1822 for over two centuries. The first recorded knowledge of SCP-1822 that was confiscated was a set of Greek texts from ████ B.C.E., describing the nature of the anomaly and posits several theories into the origin of the phenomena. SCP-1822 has no discernible source, although explorations into alternate realities reveal [DATA REDACTED, SEE BELOW].

Additional Materials

Addendum 1822.1 Interview Logs / Excerpts

ACCESS 1822-043/IN-01-8

cd..

The following is a series of relevant interviews, snippets and excerpts pertaining to SCP-1822.

Interviewee: George Rosenthal
Interviewer: Dr. H. Alexander
Date: 3/██/19██
Preface: Mr. Rosenthal is a agriculturalist from ██████, Wisconsin. Rosenthal reportedly came across evidence of SCP-1822 while reviewing purchase, inventory and quality reports of various crops he was cultivating. Subject reportedly spoke openly about the phenomenon on a public forum, prompting Foundation investigation. Subject released post interview upon application of Class-B Amnestics.

[EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED]

Dr. Alexander: And how exactly did this come to your attention?

Rosenthal: I mean, how do you not notice? ██% of my crop contains ██% of my earnings, the top ██% of the people that buy from me make up ██% of all purchases, hell, even ██% of the plants themselves hold ██% of the total number of vegetables on the vines. How does that make sense?

Dr. Alexander: It is unusual, isn't it? Your testimony will help us better understand the phenomenon.

Rosenthal: You guys are scientists?

Dr. Alexander: More or less.

Rosenthal: So what do you guys think it is?

Dr. Alexander: That information is classified, although I can say that we are hoping it is explainable with our current understanding of statistical analysis. It is possible that it is simply a coincidence.

Rosenthal: [laughs] Coincidence? I've never seen something so far away from coincidence in my whole life, doc. I see it everywhere now. ██% of Americans hold ██% of all wealth. Did you know that? No, this ain't coincidence. Whatever it is, it's everywhere, out there in the aether. Something like gravity, you know? Ever present.

Dr. Alexander: Noted. I think that just about covers it. Thank you for report.

Rosenthal: No problem. Oh, and, doc?

Dr. Alexander: Yes?

Rosenthal: Be safe. It's a strange world out there.

Dr. Alexander: That it is.

[END LOG]

From: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]
To: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]
Re: SCP-1822

I think I've got it worked out.

People like to give our universe a bad rap, but in all reality things are pretty okay. From a purely biological standpoint, we humans are thriving. Sure, we may have two hundred ticking time bombs locked in boxes across the biosphere, but we are alive. The chances of human life making it this far without being annihilated is, well, let's just say we are lucky on a base scale.

Where am I going with this? Well, the presence of SCP-1822 has never been a bad thing. It has always pointed out in favor of the individual. Who would have thought that you can achieve ██% more if you give a ██% effort? That good things happen to you ██% of the time?

Maybe this thing is like the gravitational constant. If so, maybe we should take a closer look at elementary particles- more specifically of any instances of SCP-1822 at the most fundamental scale, see if it possible to manipulate or detect, then move outward from there.

What do you think?

Dr. H. Alexander, Site-83 Theoretical Anomalies Department

From: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]
To: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]
Re: Re: SCP-1822

Dr. Alexander,

Funny you should mention elementary particles, I just received a report that one of our Agents at CERN detected possible SCP-1822 activity during recent particle accelerator testing.

Let me forward it to you now.

Regards,

Sr. Researcher Davis

Fwd: Particle Accelerator Testing

Nadia,

Latest results of testing confirms a likelihood of SCP-1822 in the behavior of certain particles. Specifically, strange D mesons (D_s) retain consistent mass ██% of the time. Their contained charm quarks act similarly, with ██% displacement due to quantum effects ██% of the elapsed time.

I won't bore you with the jargon, but I'll tell you this: it's big news. Take the data I'm sending you and get it to the Physics department, have them analyze it. Maybe you can get permission to use SCP-536 for testing. Either way, portable analysis of mesons is perfectly possible with the Foundation's current levels of technology.

Good luck.

Hoffman

Proposal 1822-Alpha
Date: ██/██/████
Project Lead: Dr. Robert Sennheiser

Objective:

Develop portable device capable of displaying Kismet Ratio by detecting the chance of quantum effects on atomic and subatomic particles.

Requested Resources:

- Access to SCP-536 for testing purposes
- Access to SCP-████ to create unbounded false vacuum inside device
- Access to SCP-2700 for analysis
- Materials necessary to construct device
- 25 D-Class Personnel for experimentation

Project Details:

Using information gathered from decades of statistical analysis and interpretation of raw data from CERN, a prototype model Kant-Sennheiser counter will be constructed. Creation of a small (.3µm) unbounded vacuum via use of SCP-████ is possible, which will be retrofitted into a small chassis with the use of a Lang-Scranton Spacial Stabilizer. The device will be equipped with 256 microsensitive D-Meson detecting units, to be fixed in a circle around the vacuum inside of device.

Extensive testing of device will take place through use of SCP-536. Once a control has been established, testing with D-Class Personnel will commence to determine the degree in which the results fluctuate due to changes in reality.

Addendum 1822.2 Project Kismet Overview

ACCESS 1822-215/EX-20-3

Addendum 1822.3 Kismet Testing Logs

ACCESS 1822-069/AX-01-8

Dimension	Kismet Ratio	Notes
Earth	██.█:██.█	Used as a control for the experiment.
SCP-2400	50.0:50.0	SCP-2400 appears to be very neutral. Further testing is to be done to confirm the integrity of contained site within.
SCP-2317-Prime	19.2:80.8	First recorded reality where the ratio does not fall in favor of life.
SCP-2759-E	34.0:66:0	Research into how exactly SCP-1822 relates to causality is underway, although it appears to be pretty straightforward- If the ratio is low, suffering is high.
`DATA CORRUPT`	90.5:09.5	`DATA CORRUPT`
SCP-3315-1	`DATA CORRUPT`	`DATA CORRUPT`
`DATA CORRUPT`

Incident Log 1822.1: On ██/██/████, during routine control testing using SCP-536, Jr. Researcher Edward Wilson reportedly accidentally dropped the device, fracturing the casing isolating the unbounded vacuum inside. The effect was not noticed right away, and the object was placed inside SCP-536 for testing. Over the next week, there were thirty-five reports of personnel involved in workplace accidents, seven containment breaches and an unknown number of equipment failures and data corruptions. Upon checking the device, SCP-1822 had revealed itself to now be ██.█:██.█. Further attempts to modify this value have failed, and all testing involving SCP-1822 is currently suspended by the O5 Council.