SCP-1711

Description

SCP-1711 is the collective designation for three products sold by the "LingoBingo Mailorder Center of Individual Linguistics" on various social media outlets. The products (designated SCP-1711-1 to SCP-1711-3) each contain distinct but interconnecting anomalies, as follows:

SCP-1711-1 is a thirty-five-page instructional manual titled "The LingoBingo Guide to a Liberated, Emancipated Self™". The front cover of SCP-1711-1 contains the following message:

Seven billion people on the planet, and more every day. So many people who look the same way you do, act the same way you do, speak the same way you do. Sometimes, it can be difficult not to feel like you're just a cog in the system, and an easily replaceable one at that. Even your thoughts feel bland, simply recycling those of others. We understand that sometimes, all you really want is something to call your own, something truly unique. And here it is. A singular language, for your use only. The purest instrument of self-realization. Read on, and know what it is to become an individual.

If read in its entirety, SCP-1711-1 will erase any existing knowledge of any spoken or written languages in the subject, and replace them with an individually constructed language only understood by them. Said language will bear no linguistic connections to any known language. Sign languages are not affected by SCP-1711-1. SCP-1711-1 creates a different, independent language in each new subject exposed to it. Notably, those affected by SCP-1711-1 are still capable of understanding the written material arriving with any instance of SCP-1711.

Instances of SCP-1711-1 are usually priced between ██ and ███ USD or regional equivalent, and will always arrive with advertisements for SCP-1711-2.

SCP-1711-2 are aerosol cans, branded "LingoBingo's Communication Enabler™". If sprayed by an individual previously affected by SCP-1711-1 on another individual, SCP-1711-2 will transfer SCP-1711-1's effects. Notably, the language received by subjects affected by SCP-1711-2 will always match that received by the SCP-1711-1 host that sprayed them, thus increasing the number of people speaking said language. SCP-1711-2 cans usually contain enough substance to affect between five and seven individuals, if used according to the attached instructions. The label on instances of SCP-1711-2 reads:

You are your own person now. It is liberating, isn't it? But something is missing. Others are frustrated by your individuality, blinded by your shine. They just don't understand, do they? We understand. With our Communication Enabler™, you can make them all understand. A mere whiff, and they'll all speak your language. No more loneliness, no more frustration. Use this, and your friends and loved ones will finally see who you truly are.

Instances of SCP-1711-2 are usually priced between ███ USD and ████ USD or regional equivalent, and will always arrive with advertisements for SCP-1711-3.

SCP-1711-3 are 100ml drip bottles, branded "LingoBingo Error Remedy™". If used on an individual affected by SCP-1711-1 or SCP-1711-2, SCP-1711-3 will restore the subject's linguistic capabilities to what they were prior to exposure. Additionally, use of SCP-1711-3 may cause moderate-to-severe stomachaches, headaches, mild fever, vomiting and dry heaves, and sleeping disorders for a period of 2-6 weeks following its use. SCP-1711-3 bottles contain enough substance to affect a single individual, if used according to attached instructions. The label on instances of SCP-1711-3 reads:

So you're your own person now, aren't you? Speaking in a language no one else can understand wasn't all that it was cut out to be, wasn't it? We understand. So you wanted everyone else to speak your language, didn't you? We understand. But they weren't such big fans of you after you sprayed them with your 'uniqueness', weren't they? Didn't much appreciate the idea of being isolated from the rest of the world just to bask in your 'genius'? Got a tad miffed with you, didn't they? Heh, we sure do understand that. So you want to make things right, don't you? Not to look like the utter jackass you are, don't you? We can help. A bottle of "LingoBingo Error Remedy™, and you can all go back to being the ordinary cogs you used to be. Doesn't that idea sound swell? Yes, just like money in the bank.

Instances of SCP-1711-3 are usually priced between ████ and ████ USD or regional equivalent.

Attempts to locate the owners of LingoBingo have thus far proven unsuccessful. Orders arrive by air mail, carrying the return address of 435 Barren Rock Street, East Tethys. Foundation records indicate no such address exists.

Addendum: The following note was found in a package of SCP-1711-3 ordered by the Foundation in order to treat several individuals affected by SCP-1711-1 and SCP-1711-2:

A rose by any other name still has its horns. And no, that's not a typo.