Bees Are Smarter Than You Think
Special Containment Procedures
Mobile Task Force Zeta-4 ('Beekeepers') is currently assigned to the tracking and recovery of SCP-1256 instances. All exposed subjects are to be administered counter-memetic therapy and Class-C amnestics prior to release. Media Division 19-P is to monitor internet media for SCP-1256 instances in the form of websites and downloadable files. Any online SCP-1256 instances are to be pulled, and the source traced.
SCP-1256 is a 24-page pamphlet entitled 'Bees - Smarter Than You Think.' Its contents appear to be intended to be informative; however, much of it is nonsensical. The cover page claims SCP-1256 was authored by Dillaine Iurtey and Ryan Hughes, and published by Redrose Publishing Sydney in 1997. Redrose Publishing Sydney has no record of SCP-1256's publication, and neither author has any recollection of writing SCP-1256.
Individual pages of SCP-1256 do not retain anomalous properties, and SCP-1256 may be excerpted without effect. It is only when SCP-1256 is read completely that its anomalous effects will manifest. An exposed subject is designated SCP-1256-1.
SCP-1256-1 will perceive all members of the superfamily Apoidea as sapient. Contrary to its title, SCP-1256's effect applies to all members of Apoidea including wasps. SCP-1256-1 will attempt to care for the insects to the exclusion of all other activities. This appears to be both to the detriment of SCP-1256-1 and the insects; the attempts of SCP-1256-1 to collect food, repair the hive, and assist in the reproductive cycle of the queen specimens typically result in the expiration of multiple insects and is met with hostility.
SCP-1256 was initially recovered from the ███████ family property 13km from ███████, Australia, by embedded agents in the NSW police force during the investigation of the █████ █████ murder case. Four cadavers were found gagged, coated in honey, and bound to chairs in duct-tape, nearby the family's bee-farm. The 17-year-old eldest daughter was arrested and charged with four cases of murder, but was found to be unfit to stand trial, and was institutionalized.
Excerpt of SCP-1256:
Bees - Smarter Than You Think
You think bees are bees. But did you know they're not? That's right, bees are smarter than you think! You think you farm the bees, and steal their honey. But you actually don't - because bees are smarter than you think! Why do you think the bees disappeared? The bees knew we'd screwed the earth before it all went to shit, before we even knew about global warming! Bees knew, because bees are smarter than you think!
Some bees stayed because they loved you. You didn't think they loved you, did you? That's because bees are smarter than you think! They loved you so much, and you didn't even know, you know. That's why we made this pamphlet, to show you how to farm bees for honey.
How Do You Farm Bees?
In order to achieve maximum efficiency with your bee farm, you must:
- Embrace the bees spiritually. You must feel the emotional flow between yourself and your bees. When you do not feel the spiritual energies of your bees, the bees do not feel your spiritual energies!
- Be understanding of your bees. Your bee isn't being productive. But do not anger yourself; understand why he can't work. He is a busy bee. He has a social life. Understand the bee! Do not pressure the bee! That is the path to sad bees.
- Do not expose your bees to liberal thought. Bees know that the iron guide of the queen is good for the hive. But what happens if you make the bees socialist? What happens? They will overthrow the class system! They will say workers and soldiers are equal, even if it is not so! There will be hive anarchy everywhere! The bees will work for pleasure and not for the hive, which is very anarchistic! Socialism is bad for bees.
- MOST IMPORTANT: you LOVE THE BEE UNCONDITIONALLY. Can't you see bees LOVE you so much? And you just make bees give and give. They stayed for you and you make them give? Love bees, not honey. Honey is the product of love.
FOLLOW OUR GUIDE AND HAVE MAXIMUM RETURN FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT.
Document held as evidence in the █████ █████ murder case, and later confiscated by Foundation operatives.
March 12, 2010.
They don't understand the bees. But they'll learn to love the bees like I do. They will. They just need to have that spark, that connection. That epiphany. The moment, in which you fully understand the bee and love it in its truth.
I've helped them, and they'll see it soon. The bees will teach them. The bees are so smart. I've talked to them. They understand like no one else does. But you mustn't scare them. They sting when they hurt. And they die.
They make a sacrifice for their hive. It's touching. Bees are more human than humans will ever be.
I've heard the buzz. I love the bees. And soon, they'll love them too.