SCP-1047
Vengefully Ironic Street Signs
An instance of SCP-1047-1 before being recovered
Special Containment Procedures
All instances of SCP-1047-1 through -5 are to be individually shrink-wrapped in a nitrogenous atmosphere to minimize their exposure to atmospheric carbon dioxide, and stored in standard inanimate-object lockers equipped with atmospheric sensors to measure carbon dioxide concentrations, and automatic halon dispensers set to activate in case of fire.
All instances of SCP-1047-1 are to be stored with their arrow pointing towards the ground.
SCP-1047-6 cannot currently be taken into custody, and is contained at the location where it was discovered. The apartment building has been purchased by the Foundation via a front company, and is to be kept unoccupied. Dual pump systems have been constructed to evacuate the atmosphere in the room containing SCP-1047-6 and replace it with nitrogen (see appendix 1047-B26 for mechanical specifications and diagrams); these pumps are to run continuously. All personnel maintaining the pumps and/or researching the interface into the room containing SCP-1047-6 should wear standard radiation dosimeters, and comply with standard health and safety regulations for radiation exposure.
Description
SCP-1047 is a collection of 6 standard types of traffic and street signs, each type of which induces a different anomalous effect. These anomalous effects activate when an instance of SCP-1047 is taken from its standard pole, and contained in a room where there are atmospheric concentrations of carbon dioxide greater than approximately 600 ppm and/or atmospheric concentrations of the various combustion products of marijuana (Cannabis sativa) greater than 100 ppm; specific activation parameters for atmospheric conditions remain to be determined, as does the precise operational definition of 'room'. In all situations, these properties do not extend beyond the walls of the room in question, and can be interrupted by opening a door or window from the outside to promote gas exchange.
SCP-1047-1 (18 instances in custody) is a 'One Way' sign. When SCP-1047-1 is activated, the force of gravity within the room will immediately reorient itself so that 'down' is the direction of the arrow on the One Way sign. If, when falling towards the new direction of gravity, the direction of the arrow is changed (i.e., because the sign spins in midair, or collides with an object during freefall), the direction of gravity will then immediately point in the new direction of the arrow. If the room is an independent structure rather than part of a larger structure (e.g., mobile homes, camping tents, or portable toilets), the gravitational reorientation can lead to the forcible and continuous displacement of the structure in question; such displacements tend to result in the structure being destroyed by multiple collisions with its environment (at which point SCP-1047-1 deactivates), but have also been known to lift the structures to the upper levels of the atmosphere (at which point SCP-1047-1 likewise deactivates due to reduced air pressure).
SCP-1047-2 (23 instances in custody) is a 'Stop' sign. When SCP-1047-2 is activated, all vertebrate organisms within the room will immediately experience total paralysis of all voluntary muscles. Causes of death for individuals afflicted by SCP-1047-2 include fall-related injuries, aspiration on food, and starvation.
SCP-1047-3 (31 instances in custody) is a 'No Parking' sign. When SCP-1047-3 is activated, all vertebrate organisms within the room become unable to stop moving or to lose consciousness, and instead pace constantly until they die of exhaustion. As well, afflicted organisms are unable to leave SCP-1047-3's zone of influence.
SCP-1047-4 (15 instances in custody) is a 'Merge' sign. When SCP-1047-4 is activated, the skin of all vertebrate organisms within the room, and all surfaces (with the exception of SCP-1047-4 itself) that have touched skin within the past 24 hours will immediately take on a semiliquid consistency, causing them to bond with each other at a molecular level upon contact.
SCP-1047-5 (4 instances in custody) is a 'Yield' sign. When SCP-1047-5 is activated, all vertebrate organisms within the room will immediately lose all volition, and will sit motionless until such time as they see or hear any statement which can be interpreted as a command, at which point they will expend the minimum effort necessary to obey if this can be accomplished without leaving the room. [NOTE: although it can reasonably be assumed that SCP-1047-5's effects apply to all vertebrate organisms, the 'obedience' effect has only been tested on humans and on trained mammals.]
SCP-1047-6 is presumed to be a 'Speed Limit 55' sign, although this cannot be directly verified due to the nature of its anomalous effect. Within its area of effect (Apartment 6, #239 [REDACTED] Avenue) the speed of light is 55 miles (88 km) per hour. As a result, relativistic effects and Cherenkov radiation1 at the interface mean that it is impossible to enter the apartment. Dual pumps have been constructed on site to drain the atmosphere within the apartment and replace it with nitrogen; atmospheric concentrations are expected to drop below SCP-1047-6's activation parameters after 473 (four hundred and seventy-three) years of continuous operation.
Acquisition log: SCP-1047 was discovered on ██/██/20██, following Incident 1047-A, involving an instance of SCP-1047-1 being stolen from a telephone pole in the city of [REDACTED] and installed as a 'wall decoration' in a nearby apartment. The resulting five deaths were explained as the result of a truck crashing into the building.
Investigation showed that City Councillor [REDACTED] had recently spoken out against an increase in street sign thefts, and had claimed that all sign thieves would "get what they deserve". When approached by the Foundation for an interview, Councillor [REDACTED] immediately committed suicide; a second Councilmember died of a cerebral hemorrhage at that time, as did two employees of the city's Department of Infrastructure. Another two employees of the Department of Infrastructure were struck and killed by lightning at that moment. Autopsies revealed no anomalies, except that all six corpses had identical teeth.