"The Best of The 5th Dimension"
Special Containment Procedures
The three thousand one hundred and twenty-five instances of SCP-092 are to be held in individual cases suitable for containing non-anomalous audio compact discs (CDs), and stored in standard inanimate-object lockers at Site 37. Each instance is to be individually numbered with permanent marker.
Testing of instances of SCP-092 is to be done in soundproof rooms. Only one instance of SCP-092 may be examined at a time. Only D-class personnel are to listen to previously-unexamined instances of SCP-092. Research proposals which involve non-D-class personnel listening to instances of SCP-092 require written approval from site command.
The cadaver of SCP-092-B is not currently considered anomalous except by association, and is preserved in the morgue freezer at Site 19.
SCP-092 is a set of 3125 audio CDs, each labeled "The Absolute Absolute Absolute Absolute BEST of The 5th Dimension!!!!!", and marked with the names of the 31 performers who have at various times been part of the American singing group "The 5th Dimension". Each instance of SCP-092, when played in a standard CD player, will produce a distinct anomalous effect upon all individuals within hearing range. The anomalous phenomenon will last 74 minutes (the duration of a standard audio CD), during which time listeners will be unable to leave hearing range, or to shut off the CD player or otherwise interrupt its function. As well, when the anomalous phenomenon finishes, all surviving listeners will engage in synchronized vocalization of the phrase "Wow, that was real cool"; synchronized vocalization has been observed in non-anglophones, pre-verbal infants, unconscious individuals, paralyzed individuals, and individuals physically incapable of speech due to laryngeal, lingual, and/or buccal damage.
The anomalous properties of each instance of SCP-092 are thematically and conceptually linked to the number 5, dimensions, and/or the members of The 5th Dimension. As of ██/██/████, 871 instances of SCP-092 have been assessed and their anomalous properties formally described; see document 092-W83 for a full list, or below for a representative sample.
When an instance of SCP-092 is inserted into the CD drive of a personal computer, its files can be accessed without triggering the anomalous effects. Examination of the files indicates that each CD has different content; all content is audio material by or pertaining to The 5th Dimension and its individual members: in addition to all known commercially-released songs, files contain live performances, practice sessions, auditions, media interviews, and personal conversations.
On May 5th, ████, an unidentified man (henceforth SCP-092-B) carrying two suitcases approached front gate guards at Site 19, and stated that he wished to surrender himself and his anomalous creations into Foundation custody. The contents of his suitcases were confiscated, and classed as SCP-092; SCP-092-B was transferred to Site 37 for interrogation.
During interrogation, SCP-092-B revealed the thematic connections (five, dimensions, and The 5th Dimension) between all instances of SCP-092, and then committed suicide.