SCP-2639
Video Game Violence
Object Class: Esoteric
Connected to: SCP-3797
Remains of Madonna di Siena.
Special Containment Procedures
SCP-2639-C is to be kept secured on-site in an isolated room that is TEMPEST-certified1. Access to SCP-2639-C is limited to Level-4 personnel; testing is currently prohibited.
Description
SCP-2639 refers to a phenomenon that manifests as a 1 kilometer cubic volume wherein anomalous entities and objects (designated SCP-2639-A and SCP-2639-B, respectively) materialize, then dematerialize approximately 1-2 hours later. An imperceptible barrier around SCP-2639 prevents instances of SCP-2639-A from leaving this area of effect.
SCP-2639-A are 3 humanoid entities equipped with anomalous weaponry and armor. Each entity exhibits superhuman speed, strength, endurance, resistance to injury, and perceives no pain or discomfort. When an instance is destroyed, an undamaged copy of this instance will appear somewhere within SCP-2639's area of effect.
SCP-2639-B consists of 22 distinct 'types' of intangible objects dispersed throughout SCP-2639's area of effect. Each instance hovers 0.1 meters above ground and rotates on a horizontal axis at a set rate. When instances of SCP-2639-A make contact with an instance of SCP-2639-B, the object will typically vanish, conferring a beneficial effect on the entity. Observed effects have included (but are not limited to) new anomalous weaponry, increased resistance to injury, and higher overall damage output.
One particular type of SCP-2639-B ('Ammo Pack') is noted to only appear when either an instance of SCP-2639-A or a non-anomalous human expires.
SCP-2639-C is a customized desktop computer. The computer runs without a discernible power-source, and has been hosting a heavily modified online Quake2 death-match since 1997. The session's participants are connected to the host machine via anomalous means, and have been identified as three teenagers3 missing since 18/06/1997. Until the discovery of SCP-2639-C in 2010, they were unaware that they had been playing for over a decade.
SCP-2639 INCIDENT DATABASE
Remains of Madonna di Siena.
INCIDENT #: 231
DATE: 18/08/2009
LOCATION: Siena, Tuscany (Italy)
REPORT: SCP-2639 occurred on the outskirts of Siena, Tuscany at 04:23 UTC; the anomaly was centered around a small church (Madonna di Siena). Local police officers responded to the anomaly, leading to an escalation which ultimately culminated with the collapse of the church. All anomalies associated with SCP-2639 dematerialized at 05:41 UTC.
CASUALTIES: 96 (54 fatalities, 12 critical injuries, 30 minor injuries)
COVER STORY: A tanker truck carrying 9000 gallons of petrol was overturned and ignited, resulting in a massive explosion. The ensuing fire exacerbated structural weaknesses in the church, causing it to collapse on the congregation inside.
« INCIDENT #230 | INCIDENT #231 | INCIDENT #232 »
[GRRGRL] haha
[WTF_STFU] totally blasted your face with my science gun :>
[BOOGER] Oh you blasted my face alright
[BOOGER] Not with science tho
[WTF_STFU] >:D
[WTF_STFU] <3
[BOOGER] <3
[GRRGRL] picking next map
[GRRGRL] deathmatch again?
[WTF_STFU] yes
[JBREINER] Pardon me.
[GRRGRL] uh
[GRRGRL] hello?
[WTF_STFU] gtfo
[BOOGER] Be nice
[GRRGRL] hey sorry but this is a private server
[JBREINER] I understand, and I apologize for the intrusion.
[JBREINER] But I need to speak with the three of you.
[WTF_STFU] boot him
[WTF_STFU] load next map
[GRRGRL] wait how did you even access this server?
[JBREINER] I'm accessing it from a computer we found.
[JBREINER] I believe it belongs to one of you? Ms Gloria Stanfield?
[BOOGER] …uh
[WTF_STFU] fucking hax
[WTF_STFU] just boot him lets go
[GRRGRL] how do you know my name?
[JBREINER] We're trying to figure something out. Can any of you tell me where you are, right now?
[WTF_STFU] jfc why are we still talking to this shitlord
[GRRGRL] wait
[GRRGRL] what do you mean, 'where we are'?
[JBREINER] Can you describe your surroundings? Besides the computer screen in front of you.
[BOOGER] …uh
[BOOGER] No
[WTF_STFU] don't tell him shit
[BOOGER] No I mean
[BOOGER] I literally can't
[BOOGER] What's going on
[BOOGER] I can't see anything besides this screen
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[WTF_STFU] i can't either
[WTF_STFU] wtf did he do
[JBREINER] Okay. I didn't do anything. I realize this won't make much sense, but we think you might all be trapped inside of this computer.
[GRRGRL] same
[GRRGRL] that is, I can't see anything
[GRRGRL] except for this screen
[WTF_STFU] how the fuck am i even typing
[WTF_STFU] i can't see a keyboard
[JBREINER] Please try to remain calm. I know this is confusing and upsetting, but I want you to also know that we're trying to figure this out, too.
[JBREINER] We're here to help.
[JBREINER] However, it's also imperative that you not play any more matches with each other.
[GRRGRL] why?
[WTF_STFU] how long have we been like this
[WTF_STFU] how long have we been playing this game
[WTF_STFU] what the fuck is going on
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[BOOGER] Dude, calm down
[BOOGER] Chill it's okay
[BOOGER] Whatever this is we can figure it out
[GRRGRL] why can't we play more matches?
[WTF_STFU] are you serious who gives a shit
[WTF_STFU] i want to know why i can't see anything but this fucking screen
[GRRGRL] no yeah I agree
[GRRGRL] I just want to know why it's *imperative* we don't play more matches
[JBREINER] It might complicate any attempt to retrieve you.
[BOOGER] Ok
[BOOGER] How long have we been here? I feel like I'm waking up from a dream
[WTF_STFU] i literally remember
[WTF_STFU] playing HUNDREDS of matches
[WTF_STFU] like we could have been here for weeks
[WTF_STFU] shit
[BOOGER] Do our parents know what's going on?
[JBREINER] No, not yet. They think you've all been missing since 1997.
[WTF_STFU] wait what
[WTF_STFU] what the fuck do you mean SINCE 1997
[BOOGER] How long have we been here?
[BOOGER] ??
[BOOGER] Hello?
[BOOGER] What is today's date?
[JBREINER] It's currently 2010.
[BOOGER] what??
[BOOGER] no
[BOOGER] that's not
[WTF_STFU] we've been in here for over ten years
[WTF_STFU] we've been playing this game for over ten fucking years
[GRRGRL] how would playing more matches 'complicate' things?
[WTF_STFU] SHUT THE FUCK UP
[WTF_STFU] JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES
[WTF_STFU] WEVE BEEN PLAYING QUAKE ON YOUR STUPID FUCKING SERVER FOR TEN STUPID FUCKING YEARS
[WTF_STFU] I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHY THEY WANT US TO STOP
[BOOGER] Jim.
[BOOGER] Jim, please.
[BOOGER] Jim?
[WTF_STFU] fucking
[WTF_STFU] fuck
[WTF_STFU] sorry
[WTF_STFU] im sorry
[GRRGRL] it's okay.
[GRRGRL] we just need to stop, and try to think this through.
[GRRGRL] jbreiner, are you still there?
[JBREINER] Yes. Sorry. I've been conferring with my colleagues. Discussing possible solutions. Maybe some tests.
[JBREINER] We think that maybe you SHOULD start a match — but rather than playing, you would just follow our instructions.
[GRRGRL] ok
[GRRGRL] just tell us what you want us to do
[JBREINER] Load your next map, but don't do anything. Don't move, don't attack, just stand still.
[GRRGRL] ok
[JBREINER] Hello?
[GRRGRL] yo
[GRRGRL] map's loaded
[JBREINER] Alright. Tell me what you see.
[WTF_STFU] just another custom map
[WTF_STFU] huge field some trees
[WTF_STFU] some zombies some rottweilers
[JBREINER] Rottweilers?
[BOOGER] One of the monster-types
[JBREINER] I understand. Are there any other identifying traits you can see?
[GRRGRL] identifying traits?
[BOOGER] Why are the monsters running?
[WTF_STFU] they always do
[WTF_STFU] i mean not always but most of the time
[WTF_STFU] something to do with the mod
[BOOGER] Right. I hadn't even thought about it until now
[JBREINER] Stay still. Don't move, don't attack anything. We're trying to find you now.
[BOOGER] Trying to find us?
[WTF_STFU] shit
[WTF_STFU] grunts
[GRRGRL] don't move. leave them alone.
[WTF_STFU] they're shooting us
[GRRGRL] it's fine.
[WTF_STFU] i'm about to die
[GRRGRL] you'll respawn
[GRRGRL] JIM
[GRRGRL] JIM STOP
[GRRGRL] DONT FIRE
[GRRGRL] JIM STOP RIGHT NOW
[GRRGRL] LET THEM KILL YOU
[GRRGRL] JIM
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[WTF_STFU] wtf why did you gib me
[GRRGRL] THEYRE NOT GRUNTS
[GRRGRL] THEYRE PEOPLE
[WTF_STFU] what are you talking about
[GRRGRL] police
[GRRGRL] or idk soldiers someone with guns
[BOOGER] Oh god
[BOOGER] no
[BOOGER] no please this has to be some sort of sick joke
[WTF_STFU] its just a stupid fucking game
[WTF_STFU] it's not
[WTF_STFU] oh
[WTF_STFU] oh fuck
[WTF_STFU] oh fuck
[WTF_STFU] this is a park
[WTF_STFU] we're in a park
[WTF_STFU] this whole time ive just been
[WTF_STFU] any time i needed ammo i would just
[WTF_STFU] no
[JBREINER] I'm sorry. I had to step away from the keyboard.
[JBREINER] Please do absolutely nothing. Stand still. We've figured out where you are. We're sending units to try and retrieve you.
[BOOGER] Where are we
[BOOGER] How did you find us
[GRRGRL] how do you think
[GRRGRL] they probably just had to turn on the fucking news
[JBREINER] Hello.
[JBREINER] ?
[JBREINER] Anyone home?
[GRRGRL] yo
[JBREINER] Is everything alright? We can't run any tests until you load up another match.
[GRRGRL] don't think we're feeling it today doc
[JBREINER] What's wrong? Anything we can talk about?
[BOOGER] Jim won't talk to us
[BOOGER] He's been silent for the past three days
[GRRGRL] look like we appreciate… everything, I guess
[GRRGRL] you've helped us figure out how a lot of this stuff works
[GRRGRL] even how to select where we manifest
[GRRGRL] but like
[WTF_STFU] how many ppl did i kill
[BOOGER] Jim!
[WTF_STFU] just
[WTF_STFU] look just tell me
[WTF_STFU] i need to know how many people i've killed
[JBREINER] I don't know, off-hand. And even if I did, I don't know if that number would be genuinely helpful.
[WTF_STFU] is it more than a thousand
[WTF_STFU] i bet its more than a thousand
[BOOGER] Jim, please stop
[WTF_STFU] you know what the worst part is
[WTF_STFU] i killed them for ammo
[WTF_STFU] so i could shoot my friends
[WTF_STFU] but no that isnt the worst part
[WTF_STFU] the worst worst part is i dont even know what any of them look like
[WTF_STFU] they were all just zombies and grunts and rottweilers
[WTF_STFU] i dont even know who im responsible for killing
[BOOGER] We all did this
[BOOGER] We'll deal with it together
[WTF_STFU] i cant
[WTF_STFU] i want to die
[WTF_STFU] i deserve to die
[WTF_STFU] but i know ill just fucking respawn
[GRRGRL] come back later, okay, dr breiner?
[JBREINER] Alright.
[JBREINER] Hello?
[JBREINER] Anyone?
[JBREINER] ?
[JBREINER] I know you're all still there. We can see you're still connected.
[JBREINER] It's been a month, and none of you are talking to us anymore.
[JBREINER] Look, I know this is hard.
[JBREINER] But you can't just hide from this.
[JBREINER] Well.
[JBREINER] Okay.
[JBREINER] I guess you can.
[JBREINER] I'll try again tomorrow.
[JBREINER] Hello.
[JBREINER] This is just my weekly check-in, to see if any of you are still there and willing to talk.
[JBREINER] Look, I
[JBREINER] Okay, this is pretty unprofessional, but frankly, it's been so long since we've heard a peep out of any of you that the higher-ups scarcely even consider you anomalous anymore.
[JBREINER] So…
[JBREINER] I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
[JBREINER] I keep telling you that I know it's hard.
[JBREINER] But the fact of the matter is that I have no clue.
[JBREINER] Nobody knows how hard this is for any of you.
[JBREINER] None of us can even begin to fathom what it's like.
[JBREINER] You're all just a bunch of teenagers who somehow got sucked into a game without realizing it. You have no physical bodies, as far as we can tell.
[JBREINER] And, through no real fault of your own, you're somehow responsible for…
[JBREINER] …the number is 1,531. At least, that's as many as we've confirmed. Fatalities, I mean.
[JBREINER] And I don't think there's many of us who can fathom what any of this is like. To wake up from a dream one day to find out it wasn't a dream, and all your memories of spending time with the people you care about, it was actually just…
[JBREINER] Look, I have a teenage son of my own. So, like — I'm not saying I understand. But I sympathize. I imagine what I'd think if something like this happened to him, and… I don't know. The fact that it CAN happen, terrifies me.
[JBREINER] I don't think any of you are evil. I think… what happened to you is unfair. Beyond unfair.
[JBREINER] But I also don't think just hiding in the dark is going to help.
[JBREINER] You need to talk to us.
[JBREINER] Not just for our sake. But for yours.
[JBREINER] Okay, I'm done. Sorry for rambling. Not typically my style.
[JBREINER] I'll try again next week.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS ARE LEVEL 4/2639 CLASSIFIED
ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THESE FILES WITHOUT LEVEL 4/2639 AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
[JBREINER] Help
[JBREINER] Are any of you still there?
[JBREINER] I don't even know how long it's been since I've tried communicating with any of you
[JBREINER] But please, respond
[JBREINER] I need your help. Hello? Please
[JBREINER] PLEASE RESPOND
[JBREINER] Fuck
[GRRGRL] yo
[JBREINER] Thank God
[JBREINER] I need your help
[JBREINER] I'm trapped in this lab
[GRRGRL] why
[JBREINER] We've had a containment breach
[GRRGRL] the fuck is that
[JBREINER] I don't have time to bring you up to speed
[JBREINER] But to make it short, you aren't the only anomalous things we've contained
[JBREINER] Some of these things
[JBREINER] They're monsters
[JBREINER] And one of them broke free
[GRRGRL] ok
[GRRGRL] what do you want us to do about it?
[JBREINER] Help us
[JBREINER] ?
[JBREINER] Please
[GRRGRL] don't think you understand what you're asking, doc
[GRRGRL] besides not sure the others are even still here
[JBREINER] I can hear it outside in the hall
[JBREINER] Please, it's killing people
[BOOGER] You want us to fight it?
[JBREINER] Yes
[GRRGRL] you're still alive?
[BOOGER] IDK
[BOOGER] Guess so
[JBREINER] Can you help us?
[BOOGER] Can we, G?
[GRRGRL] why are you asking me Tom
[WTF_STFU] because youre our leader
[GRRGRL] jim? holy shit
[GRRGRL] you're still here?
[WTF_STFU] can't die
[WTF_STFU] so yeah
[WTF_STFU] make the call
[GRRGRL] I can't
[GRRGRL] I mean
[GRRGRL] I'm why we're all fucked up
[GRRGRL] I know you blame yourself for all those dead people but it isn't your fault Jim it never has been
[GRRGRL] it was my computer
[GRRGRL] my mods
[GRRGRL] my server
[GRRGRL] I can't
[WTF_STFU] bs
[WTF_STFU] yes you can
[WTF_STFU] make the call
[WTF_STFU] we'll follow your lead
[JBREINER] PLEASE HELP ITS BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR
[GRRGRL] Loading map. We're going in.
[JBREINER] Hello?
[GRRGRL] yo
[JBREINER] How are you all feeling, today?
[GRRGRL] better
[GRRGRL] we've talked a lot
[GRRGRL] how many people died
[GRRGRL] yesterday I mean
[JBREINER] We're still compiling numbers. But.
[JBREINER] The number we're getting is a lot lower than it would have been, if it weren't for all of you.
[GRRGRL] ok
[GRRGRL] good I mean
[GRRGRL] look I want a straight answer here
[GRRGRL] I think I already know the truth so
[GRRGRL] if you lie to me i'll know it, and we'll go back to being quiet again
[GRRGRL] so answer the next question truthfully. Ok?
[JBREINER] Ok.
[GRRGRL] besides the monster
[GRRGRL] did WE kill anyone? like, non… monster-ppl
[JBREINER] No.
[GRRGRL] you SURE about that
[JBREINER] Yes. Aside from myself and two others, everyone in the area you manifested in was already dead.
[GRRGRL] ok
[GRRGRL] that's what we figured, too, I just
[GRRGRL] wanted to be sure
[JBREINER] You said you all talked a lot. About what?
[GRRGRL] think we've come to a decision
[JBREINER] A decision?
[GRRGRL] yeah
[GRRGRL] you've been running tests on us for like IDK how long now
[GRRGRL] and we're still stuck in here
[GRRGRL] you won't let us talk to our families
[GRRGRL] and all you do is have us do stupid pet tricks for you
[JBREINER] I understand. I'm sorry. I wish I could let you speak with your families, particularly given the fact that you just saved my life and the lives of everyone in this facility. But your situation is complicated.
[GRRGRL] yeah
[GRRGRL] we know
[GRRGRL] but like the point here is
[WTF_STFU] fuck you
[WTF_STFU] fuck you and fuck your tests
[WTF_STFU] thats the point
[GRRGRL] put more civilly, I don't think we're ever getting out of here
[GRRGRL] are we?
[GRRGRL] ?
[JBREINER] Sorry, was thinking.
[JBREINER] We were exploring solutions before you stopped coming out for tests. We don't honestly know what to do. We've examined the computer you're communicating to us through, but we haven't figured out a way to retrieve you from it.
[JBREINER] Nothing indicates to us that your 'minds' are even inside it. It's more like you're connecting to it from some outside source. We've discussed forcing the game to shut down, but we're fairly certain that would just mean we'd lose contact with you — and you'd lose contact with each other.
[BOOGER] Yeah, we figured
[BOOGER] Which means we're stuck in here
[BOOGER] Just letting you run your tests while we wait for the computer to finally break down
[BOOGER] And when that happens, we'll be alone
[BOOGER] We won't even have each other
[BOOGER] Just an eternity of darkness
[WTF_STFU] wow ok there emo kid
[BOOGER] *flip hair in front of eyes* :>
[BOOGER] You know you love it
[WTF_STFU] haha
[WTF_STFU] <3
[BOOGER] <3
[JBREINER] So… how can we help? What can we do?
[WTF_STFU] we want to DO something
[WTF_STFU] and tbh theres really only one thing we're good at now
[GRRGRL] we've already done a lot of damage. People are dead because of us
[GRRGRL] we thought it was just a game, but
[GRRGRL] that doesn't make them any less dead
[GRRGRL] but we can't do anything about that. We can't fix it, or reverse it, or even, like… well I guess we could just, tell you to shut the computer off
[GRRGRL] and sit in the dark, alone, as atonement
[GRRGRL] but that's going to happen some day ANYWAY
[GRRGRL] so, meanwhile
[BOOGER] So, meanwhile, maybe we can actually save lives.
[JBREINER] …how?
[WTF_STFU] omg are you fucking serious
[WTF_STFU] how do you THINK you fucking moron
[WTF_STFU] we are unstoppable nigh-immortal digitized death-gods who have spent 10+ years practice-killing each other in endlessly looped murder-orgies
[WTF_STFU] so now we're ready for co-op
[GRRGRL] we just have one condition
[BOOGER] No people.
[WTF_STFU] we will not kill people. ever. period. end of discussion
[WTF_STFU] only monsters
[JBREINER] I'm going to have to talk to my superiors.
[JBREINER] Hello?
[GRRGRL] yo
[JBREINER] They said yes.
MTF Omega-9 ("The Scrubs")
Task Force Mission: Mobile Task Force Omega-9 consists of 3 anomalous entities available for near-instantaneous deployment into extreme circumstances requiring the delivery of overwhelming force. Its primary purpose is as a rapid-response team for containment breaches involving violent, hostile anomalies. As part of the agreement reached with these 3 entities, MTF Omega-9 is only to be used to eliminate hostile non-human targets.
Assisting In Containment of Objects" id="">Addendum 2639.1: Chat Logs
[GRRGRL] haha
[WTF_STFU] totally blasted your face with my science gun :>
[BOOGER] Oh you blasted my face alright
[BOOGER] Not with science tho
[WTF_STFU] >:D
[WTF_STFU] <3
[BOOGER] <3
[GRRGRL] picking next map
[GRRGRL] deathmatch again?
[WTF_STFU] yes
[JBREINER] Pardon me.
[GRRGRL] uh
[GRRGRL] hello?
[WTF_STFU] gtfo
[BOOGER] Be nice
[GRRGRL] hey sorry but this is a private server
[JBREINER] I understand, and I apologize for the intrusion.
[JBREINER] But I need to speak with the three of you.
[WTF_STFU] boot him
[WTF_STFU] load next map
[GRRGRL] wait how did you even access this server?
[JBREINER] I'm accessing it from a computer we found.
[JBREINER] I believe it belongs to one of you? Ms Gloria Stanfield?
[BOOGER] …uh
[WTF_STFU] fucking hax
[WTF_STFU] just boot him lets go
[GRRGRL] how do you know my name?
[JBREINER] We're trying to figure something out. Can any of you tell me where you are, right now?
[WTF_STFU] jfc why are we still talking to this shitlord
[GRRGRL] wait
[GRRGRL] what do you mean, 'where we are'?
[JBREINER] Can you describe your surroundings? Besides the computer screen in front of you.
[BOOGER] …uh
[BOOGER] No
[WTF_STFU] don't tell him shit
[BOOGER] No I mean
[BOOGER] I literally can't
[BOOGER] What's going on
[BOOGER] I can't see anything besides this screen
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[WTF_STFU] i can't either
[WTF_STFU] wtf did he do
[JBREINER] Okay. I didn't do anything. I realize this won't make much sense, but we think you might all be trapped inside of this computer.
[GRRGRL] same
[GRRGRL] that is, I can't see anything
[GRRGRL] except for this screen
[WTF_STFU] how the fuck am i even typing
[WTF_STFU] i can't see a keyboard
[JBREINER] Please try to remain calm. I know this is confusing and upsetting, but I want you to also know that we're trying to figure this out, too.
[JBREINER] We're here to help.
[JBREINER] However, it's also imperative that you not play any more matches with each other.
[GRRGRL] why?
[WTF_STFU] how long have we been like this
[WTF_STFU] how long have we been playing this game
[WTF_STFU] what the fuck is going on
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[BOOGER] Dude, calm down
[BOOGER] Chill it's okay
[BOOGER] Whatever this is we can figure it out
[GRRGRL] why can't we play more matches?
[WTF_STFU] are you serious who gives a shit
[WTF_STFU] i want to know why i can't see anything but this fucking screen
[GRRGRL] no yeah I agree
[GRRGRL] I just want to know why it's *imperative* we don't play more matches
[JBREINER] It might complicate any attempt to retrieve you.
[BOOGER] Ok
[BOOGER] How long have we been here? I feel like I'm waking up from a dream
[WTF_STFU] i literally remember
[WTF_STFU] playing HUNDREDS of matches
[WTF_STFU] like we could have been here for weeks
[WTF_STFU] shit
[BOOGER] Do our parents know what's going on?
[JBREINER] No, not yet. They think you've all been missing since 1997.
[WTF_STFU] wait what
[WTF_STFU] what the fuck do you mean SINCE 1997
[BOOGER] How long have we been here?
[BOOGER] ??
[BOOGER] Hello?
[BOOGER] What is today's date?
[JBREINER] It's currently 2010.
[BOOGER] what??
[BOOGER] no
[BOOGER] that's not
[WTF_STFU] we've been in here for over ten years
[WTF_STFU] we've been playing this game for over ten fucking years
[GRRGRL] how would playing more matches 'complicate' things?
[WTF_STFU] SHUT THE FUCK UP
[WTF_STFU] JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES
[WTF_STFU] WEVE BEEN PLAYING QUAKE ON YOUR STUPID FUCKING SERVER FOR TEN STUPID FUCKING YEARS
[WTF_STFU] I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHY THEY WANT US TO STOP
[BOOGER] Jim.
[BOOGER] Jim, please.
[BOOGER] Jim?
[WTF_STFU] fucking
[WTF_STFU] fuck
[WTF_STFU] sorry
[WTF_STFU] im sorry
[GRRGRL] it's okay.
[GRRGRL] we just need to stop, and try to think this through.
[GRRGRL] jbreiner, are you still there?
[JBREINER] Yes. Sorry. I've been conferring with my colleagues. Discussing possible solutions. Maybe some tests.
[JBREINER] We think that maybe you SHOULD start a match — but rather than playing, you would just follow our instructions.
[GRRGRL] ok
[GRRGRL] just tell us what you want us to do
[JBREINER] Load your next map, but don't do anything. Don't move, don't attack, just stand still.
[GRRGRL] ok
[JBREINER] Hello?
[GRRGRL] yo
[GRRGRL] map's loaded
[JBREINER] Alright. Tell me what you see.
[WTF_STFU] just another custom map
[WTF_STFU] huge field some trees
[WTF_STFU] some zombies some rottweilers
[JBREINER] Rottweilers?
[BOOGER] One of the monster-types
[JBREINER] I understand. Are there any other identifying traits you can see?
[GRRGRL] identifying traits?
[BOOGER] Why are the monsters running?
[WTF_STFU] they always do
[WTF_STFU] i mean not always but most of the time
[WTF_STFU] something to do with the mod
[BOOGER] Right. I hadn't even thought about it until now
[JBREINER] Stay still. Don't move, don't attack anything. We're trying to find you now.
[BOOGER] Trying to find us?
[WTF_STFU] shit
[WTF_STFU] grunts
[GRRGRL] don't move. leave them alone.
[WTF_STFU] they're shooting us
[GRRGRL] it's fine.
[WTF_STFU] i'm about to die
[GRRGRL] you'll respawn
[GRRGRL] JIM
[GRRGRL] JIM STOP
[GRRGRL] DONT FIRE
[GRRGRL] JIM STOP RIGHT NOW
[GRRGRL] LET THEM KILL YOU
[GRRGRL] JIM
[WTF_STFU] wtf
[WTF_STFU] wtf why did you gib me
[GRRGRL] THEYRE NOT GRUNTS
[GRRGRL] THEYRE PEOPLE
[WTF_STFU] what are you talking about
[GRRGRL] police
[GRRGRL] or idk soldiers someone with guns
[BOOGER] Oh god
[BOOGER] no
[BOOGER] no please this has to be some sort of sick joke
[WTF_STFU] its just a stupid fucking game
[WTF_STFU] it's not
[WTF_STFU] oh
[WTF_STFU] oh fuck
[WTF_STFU] oh fuck
[WTF_STFU] this is a park
[WTF_STFU] we're in a park
[WTF_STFU] this whole time ive just been
[WTF_STFU] any time i needed ammo i would just
[WTF_STFU] no
[JBREINER] I'm sorry. I had to step away from the keyboard.
[JBREINER] Please do absolutely nothing. Stand still. We've figured out where you are. We're sending units to try and retrieve you.
[BOOGER] Where are we
[BOOGER] How did you find us
[GRRGRL] how do you think
[GRRGRL] they probably just had to turn on the fucking news
[JBREINER] Hello.
[JBREINER] ?
[JBREINER] Anyone home?
[GRRGRL] yo
[JBREINER] Is everything alright? We can't run any tests until you load up another match.
[GRRGRL] don't think we're feeling it today doc
[JBREINER] What's wrong? Anything we can talk about?
[BOOGER] Jim won't talk to us
[BOOGER] He's been silent for the past three days
[GRRGRL] look like we appreciate… everything, I guess
[GRRGRL] you've helped us figure out how a lot of this stuff works
[GRRGRL] even how to select where we manifest
[GRRGRL] but like
[WTF_STFU] how many ppl did i kill
[BOOGER] Jim!
[WTF_STFU] just
[WTF_STFU] look just tell me
[WTF_STFU] i need to know how many people i've killed
[JBREINER] I don't know, off-hand. And even if I did, I don't know if that number would be genuinely helpful.
[WTF_STFU] is it more than a thousand
[WTF_STFU] i bet its more than a thousand
[BOOGER] Jim, please stop
[WTF_STFU] you know what the worst part is
[WTF_STFU] i killed them for ammo
[WTF_STFU] so i could shoot my friends
[WTF_STFU] but no that isnt the worst part
[WTF_STFU] the worst worst part is i dont even know what any of them look like
[WTF_STFU] they were all just zombies and grunts and rottweilers
[WTF_STFU] i dont even know who im responsible for killing
[BOOGER] We all did this
[BOOGER] We'll deal with it together
[WTF_STFU] i cant
[WTF_STFU] i want to die
[WTF_STFU] i deserve to die
[WTF_STFU] but i know ill just fucking respawn
[GRRGRL] come back later, okay, dr breiner?
[JBREINER] Alright.
[JBREINER] Hello?
[JBREINER] Anyone?
[JBREINER] ?
[JBREINER] I know you're all still there. We can see you're still connected.
[JBREINER] It's been a month, and none of you are talking to us anymore.
[JBREINER] Look, I know this is hard.
[JBREINER] But you can't just hide from this.
[JBREINER] Well.
[JBREINER] Okay.
[JBREINER] I guess you can.
[JBREINER] I'll try again tomorrow.
[JBREINER] Hello.
[JBREINER] This is just my weekly check-in, to see if any of you are still there and willing to talk.
[JBREINER] Look, I
[JBREINER] Okay, this is pretty unprofessional, but frankly, it's been so long since we've heard a peep out of any of you that the hi